Lester: Wear a kid should always be a kid

Kerry Lester

One of my biggest weaknesses has always been shopping. Window shopping, speed shopping, online shopping, you name it.

I’m not as bad as I used to be; there once was a time where my roommate would return home late at night to a darkened room and see me hunched over the light of my computer screen, scrolling my way through J.Crew clogs, American Eagle sweaters and Gap corduroys. In essence, it was sucking away precious, precious study time.

Like many Villanova girls, I want to look good. Buy expensive concert tickets? Stereo systems? No way. “Save your money and dress well” has always been my motto.

In fact, one of the best ways to get the most bang for my hard earned bucks has been shopping in the kids section of various clothing companies. Often, a size 14 or 16 girls’ item fits the same as a similar size 2 or 4 woman’s one, but for 30 percent less. Yes, I’ve purchased girls’ oxfords, sweaters, jackets, even tank tops.

Thongs, however, are where I draw the line.

THONGS? As in the underwear, not the flip-flops the East Coasters seem to be so fond of. Stores such as Abercrombie and Fitch now carry kiddie butt-floss in their “undies and sleepwear” section.

The sizing chart explains that a small fits size 7 to 8, a medium size 10, a large size 12, and extra large 14 to 16.

If I remember correctly, an average sized second or third grader wears an 8 or 10. Does it seem practical to be worrying about noticeable panty lines before one has fully mastered phonics?

As a society, we seem to be pushing thoughts of body image woes at earlier and earlier ages. Cosmopolitan, a magazine infamous for its sexual tips and confessions, now publishes monthly issues of a Cosmo girl magazine.

Maybe it’s an idealistic, paternalistic wish to perpetuate childish naiveté, but the only thing I want my younger sister to lick is an ice cream cone.

As children’s clothes are made to be less functional and more sexy with each coming season, the margins of desirable physical builds shrink drastically. Healthy habits do need to be learned early on. However, counting calories and careful cardio turns nutritious eating and natural childish play into chores.

I never thought I’d say it, but I’m truly grateful for the high-cut, white cotton briefs my mother still buys for me. I can’t see how a thong would have made me a better or more stylish kid.

Besides, I would like to think it would have been a little chilly hanging upside down from the monkey bars.