Can another fifth-year senior finally get some respect?

Santo Caruso

With all the hype over the two superstar fifth-year seniors, Curtis Sumpter and Jackie Adamshick, returning to the men’s and women’s teams, everyone is overlooking another member of the Villanova community who has put in half a decade’s worth of service.

Me.

That’s right, this is my fifth year writing for the Villanovan, my fifth year mixing up than and then, among other numerous grammatical errors and my fifth year dropping knowledge on all y’all from the perspective of a passionate and informed sports groupie.

Still I came back, not unlike Curtis from his knee injury. True, I did not have to go through one-and-a-half years of grueling physical therapy and two painful surgeries, but I feel that our situations are very similar. So maybe I didn’t get hurt helping the team upset Florida in the NCAA tournament, but every time I sit in front of my laptop, I risk carpal tunnel, eye strain and any number of other computer-geek ailments. If that isn’t courage under fire, I don’t know what is.

Ok, I didn’t lead the Lady Wildcats in scoring and rebounding like Jackie Adamshick did in her red-shirt sophomore year, but I do have the most articles of any Villanovan writer (67, not including all my uncredited work on the basketball previews and the “Rants and Raves,” though maybe I don’t want credit for those). C’mon, all Jackie has to do is practice for hours on end, taking jump shot after jump shot, whereas I suffer and slave in front of a glowing screen eating God knows how much pizza, trying to scribe interesting and provocative pieces every week. Even my little cousins can make jump shots…over me…one on one…when I am trying my hardest.

Plus, in one of her “best” games she only took 15 total shots. Only 15!! Iverson wakes up with more shot attempts than that. So what if she made 10 of them, going five for seven from 3-point land. What if I only wrote 15 words for my “best” article? It would read something like this: “Eagles Good, Villanova Good, Philly Good, Donovan McNabb, Kyle Lowry, Fill in lame joke attempt.” I mean c’mon, who is more impressive now?

And what kind of selfish person comes back for a fifth year anyway? Jesus you two, let someone else have a chance.

Curtis kills himself to get back to help a young squad; Jackie is already looked at as the coach on the floor. I come in for a few hours, eat, make inappropriate jokes and generally set the newspaper back several hours before handing in a poorly-written column several days late. But imagine all the fighting I go through to make sure words that should not be published make it in, just so I can have a cheap laugh. Who would you rather be? Not me, I’m sure.

I gave up a potentially lucrative career as a bartender, or cashier at Barnes and Noble, or whatever other job someone with a liberal arts degree can get post-grad to bring my four years of wisdom to the paper. These precious gems include, “if you are thinking about mentioning body parts that are covered by bathing suits, don’t” and “even in football columns, references to steroids, drug use and prostitution should be avoided whenever possible.” But not a single person on campus noticed, nor cared, that I had returned for this fifth year. Damn, I want my number (53) to be sold in the bookstore. I don’t think that is too much to ask.

No recognition, no respect, no pleasant reader feedback even. I feel like the head of FEMA; no one notices me until I screw up, which I do quite often. Where are the screaming fans; where is my tri-captainship? When you are watching the elder statesmen of the Villanova teams, keep in mind another 22-year-old trying to get a little support. Its not like I’m asking for my jersey to hang from the rafters of the Pavilion…

Yet.