Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Your closet is gradually beginning to look like the set of every classic ’80s teen movie, full of leggings, big belts and headbands. You may look cute now, but in 20 years, your kids will laugh at you.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Due to the blatant lack of snow, you decide to try your hand at “mud skiing.” At least that broken leg earned you prime parking spots on campus.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

January means sorority and fraternity recruitment. Choose wisely, grasshopper.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

This semester you discover the bookstore lines are particularly out of control. When people start bringing pillows to take naps while they wait, it’s time to start ordering books online.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

Over break you realize that cupcakes are possibly the best refreshments ever. Now, whenever you get stressed, you go on an Izzy-esque baking spree to cure your woes.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

Hit and run … err, fly … takes on a new meaning when a pigeon dive bombs your car and does significant damage. Now, deer have the ability to total cars, but pigeons? Wow.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

After being shut out of all but one of the basketball lotteries, you suddenly wish you camped out for tickets. Next time, Gadget, next time.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Remember in third grade when Bobby Smith told you the boogie man wasn’t real? He lied.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

After spending hours each day playing Snood and TextTwist, it’s time to face reality and start doing something productive like, you know, finding a job or internship for the summer.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

If you can actually keep your New Year’s resolution this year, someone will give you a piece of candy … unless, of course, your resolution was to get in shape.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You discover that your residence hall features new toilet paper and paper towel dispensers in the bathrooms. Way to pay attention to details, but memorizing every new piece of vandalism that appears on the stalls is taking it a little too far.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

After a three-hour delay, a six-hour flight, a 45-minute train ride and a 15-minute hike across campus with all of your belongings, you realize you left your WildCard and room key on your kitchen table back home. This has prompted you to make a list of things not to forget at the end of every break.