Out of Bounds: A look at the lighter side of sports

Kyle Scudilla

A face no one could love

Enough’s enough. I’ve got to know. Which TV executive thinks it’s a good idea to keep putting Joakim Noah’s facial expressions and antics into every highlight package/montage during March Madness? And why does he or she work for every network that covers the tournament? Even casual fans have seen the same Noah clips over and over, many of which show him apparently auditioning as one of the zoo animal extras in “Madagascar 2,” screaming at the top of his lungs to no one in particular. What does he have to be so angry about? He’s already got a national championship, and this year, he’s the most overrated player on a Final Four team. Then, even if Florida doesn’t repeat as champs, he can leave after this year and some mismanaged NBA team can take him as a lottery pick and watch him bust in the pros, but not before he collects a few million dineros.I guess what I really don’t understand is why his Florida teammates get practically no respect at all. Al Horford is a better big man, Corey Brewer scores more, Lee Humphrey hits tons of big shots … and yet, it’s nothin’ but Noah. Horford had more points, rebounds and blocks per game this season than Noah, yet he still landed on a lower All-American squad (third team) than his spotlight-hog of a teammate (second team). It’s just the latest case of the media being lazy, latching on to one guy and sticking with it no matter what. It’s a shame some of Florida’s other, less-painful-to-see-on-TV players won’t be appreciated until they’re gone.

WRITINGS ON THE WALL:PEYTON SHINES ON SNL

It’s probably been a while since you’ve seen a new episode of Saturday Night Live, and with good reason. However, this past week’s episode, hosted by Super Bowl MVP Peyton Manning, definitely had its moments. It’s either a big compliment to Manning or a big diss to the cast of SNL to say that the Colts’ QB was the best performer of the evening, but the veteran of 9,000 commercials did some great work in front of the camera. His best skit was a take-off on those NFL and United Way commercials. It started out innocently enough, with Manning playing football with a bunch of little kids. Once Peyton started walking up and down the line, furiously calling audibles and then drilling the children in the back of the head with passes straight from his “laser-rocket arm,” hilarity ensued. Whether it was giving a kid time-out by making him sit inside a portable toilet or teaching his little buddies how to jimmy a car lock, Manning was a big hit.

Facebook News Feed

Jeff Green joined the group Traveling … whoops … I mean going to Atlanta.

Joe Theismann wrote on Ron Jaworski’s wall “Good luck with my job, Jaws. Don’t get too comfortable though. I gave great analysis and still got canned in one year. It’s like they want you to be some genius, like Norman Einstein. At least I don’t have to pretend that I get Kornheiser’s jokes anymore.”

Isiah Thomas gave a gift to the New York Knicks

“I got you this thank you note as a token of my appreciation for the contractextension. I mean, so what if we’re only 1-6 and out of the playoff race since I signed it? Should be a fun ride for the next couple of years. Ballin’! “

Joey Dorsey wrote on Billy Packer’s wall “hey, mr. packer. i have a question. you know all those things i said about oden being overrated? well, looks like i screwed up, and since then, everyone’s been telling me it’s time to eat crow, and they said you’d know where to get some. any suggestions?” Carl Pavano is wondering if chapped lips and “the sniffles” will be enough to get him out of pitching this season.

$tock Watch

BULL MARKETKOBE BRYANT

Bryant has been playing out of his mind lately, leading the Lakers to a five-game winning streak during which he averaged over 53 points per game. It’s amazing how such great play can almost help fans forget about the rape accusations and running Phil Jackson and Shaquille O’Neal out of town … almost.

BEAR MARKETNEW YORK YANKEES

To quote “Major League II”, they’re Old Mother Hubbard, and only Pavano is in the cupboard to start opening day. While this doesn’t matter much in the long-run, it almost certainly means Yankees fans will have to put up with a slew of “when your opening day starter is Carl Pavano, how can you expect to have enough pitching to get to the World Series?” comments from motormouths like Steve Phillips.

Channel Surfing

Georgetown vs. Ohio State; Florida vs. UCLA (Saturday, 6:07 p.m., CBS): Oden vs. Hibbert? A rematch of last year’s championship? These matchups seem tailor-made for TV. You’ll watch either because your bracket needs Georgetown in the championship game, or just to root against the “casual fan” who really thought hard before picking Florida to win it all.

Mavericks at Suns (Sunday, 3:30 p.m., ABC): This game has one word written all over it: fun. This is quickly becoming one of the best and most entertaining rivalries in today’s sports world. Watching Nash and Nowitzki go at it is like watching two kids dueling to rack up the high score at the pop-a-shot machine.

2007 NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship (Monday, 7:10 p.m., CBS): In a rematch of this year’s BCS title game, the Gators and the Buckeyes do battle once again, but the result is the same. With Ohio State down by three and just seconds left, a Xavier fan runs onto the court and piledrives Ron Lewis. Joakim Noah takes advantage by scooping up the loose ball, literally turning Greg Oden into stone by staring right into his eyes and dunking home the clincher. Hopefully the real game is better than my version of it.

YouTubin’Clip of the Week

See the video atyoutube.com/villanovansportsThe Division II championship game was ridiculous. Didn’t see it? You have to. Barton’s Anthony Atkinson went Reggie Miller on Winona State, scoring 10 points in the final 45 seconds, including the game-winning lay-up with .1 seconds left. The loss snapped Winona State’s D-II record 57-game winning streak. If it were D-I, it may have been called the best finish ever.