The Wisecat

Tina Lamsback

Dear Wisecat,I am midway through my college years and am already fed up with my relationship situation. I feel as though nothing is working in my favor. I am starting to blame my lack-of-boyfriend situation on myself. What am I to do? How can I fix this issue before I make myself even more upset? Sincerely, Waiting

Dear Waiting,You are acting as if the ship has already set sail, the bottom of the ninth has already passed and life is over. Unfortunately, it’s not – I’m clearly being sarcastic. You’re young; hell we all are! Life is just starting. The cravings for fun, an instant party and, of course, even sometimes the longing for your alone time set in as huge highs and lows in your early adult years. The days when you wish your feelings were written on your forehead so that you wouldn’t have to explain yourself to your significant other seem to be closing in on you. At this point, it seems so much easier to simply blame yourself for any lack of communication in the relationship department. Why is your self-esteem the immediate punching bag? Do I really deserve to feel like this? No one ever deserves to feel like nothing. There is something truly unique about each and every person; however, they might not have found what it is yet.As you sit and ponder, you begin to think, what is so wrong with me? Your endless pursuit of a significant other starts turning out to be an uphill battle as you quickly get absolutely irritated with everything and everyone. It is now time to wise up. Start getting annoyed at yourself, and say that you are really worth it. If at this time in your life another person isn’t noticing the worthiness of your personality, well, then that is just their fault. The only person that can change any part of this feeling is you. When you start believing that you are wonderful and worth it, then your whole attitude will make a full circle. I recently came across this quote, “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Without love for yourself, you are nothing. Self-esteem comes from the inner-most person. I mean think about it. Do you really think that everyone in the world has a great sense of self-worth? I know I don’t believe that. There is always someone somewhere wishing he or she could change something about themselves. You will never be in a stable relationship if you don’t think you are worth it. So, take a deep breath for all of us, relax and maybe if you start telling yourself that you are worth it, you will someday actually believe it.