Global warming: the final solution

Barrett, Tom

Only recently have we as a people truly begun to see the deleterious effects that our actions have had on the world around us. Our waters and skies have been polluted, our lands have been paved over and built upon with little hesitation, and the world’s finite natural resources have been drained to critically low levels. Our presence on this planet causes nothing but harm to our world, and that is why we are left with one final solution: the elimination of the human species.

Imagine a late night view of the sky illuminated by countless stars and untainted by man-made light and air pollution. Picture abounding forests and open plains where all of the inhuman occupants seem to create a perfect circle of life, survival and death with every living thing around them. Now try to imagine human beings fitting into this beautiful image of what the world could be. All of a sudden these woodlands and open areas are bulldozed and parking garages and factories are springing up. The once breathtaking view of the sky becomes blanketed by a perpetual man-made haze.

If you sat down and really thought about it, you would see that human beings exist in a state of antagonism with the rest of the world. While other living organisms and their environments seem to exist in a symbiotic relationship with one another, we as a species virally consume all we can until we have drained areas dry of their resources. Then we move on to a new area, doing the same.

I know that my suggestion sounds a bit drastic, but we have exhausted all other plausible means. A movement of global cooperation is too difficult and beyond our capabilities. Ignorance and hatred of one another are boundaries too difficult to cross and any remotely practical ideas to treat our world responsibly are thwarted. We tried practicing personal conservation – saving electricity, using less gas, etc. Once again, we failed miserably when our laziness and gluttony proved to be insurmountable walls. The only other viable option would be for us to return to our days as hunters and gatherers, but even with that our pride would hamper us from dropping even one notch on the food chain.

This wretched abuse of the planet must be put to an end, and as long as we exist, that simply cannot happen. All other means have been exhausted, and we cannot rationally justify our occupation of this great planet. Do not worry though; our extinction will not be abrupt and violent. Rather, breeding controls will be implemented, and we will simply be allowed to die out gradually over time. Although existence as we know it would end, the world would continue to thrive and flourish on its own as it has done for hundreds of millions of years. The best part is that we could rest well, assured that we had finally done all that we could to protect the most cherished of natural gifts.