The WiseCat

Tina Lamsback

Dear WiseCat,

My ex-boyfriend/hookup/best friend is expected to return in about a month from studying abroad. Every now and then, he calls long distance to see what I am up to. I feel like he will want to be more than just friends when he returns. We’re always there for each other, and I enjoy being in a relationship with him, but it’s possible that I want to be with him just because he is not currently here with me. Who knows!

Should I address this situation before he comes back home for the summer or should I wait to see where the cards fall?


Anxious About Arrival

Dear Anxious About Arrival,

Lauren Conrad of MTV’s “The Hills” has a funny way of making me think that she has an extensive background with relationships, and she tends to make her words seem more profound that they usually are. However, remember that time she went to Paris? Well, the first time she attempted to but was extremely distracted by that lumberjack Jason. However, in a recent episode of the show, Lauren was on her way to Paris for the first time and said, “I hoped things would be the same when I got back, but a part of me knew Paris was about to change everything.”

Change? What is she talking about? Change takes many different forms. Change happens for the bad, and sometimes, if we cross our fingers, it happens for the good. So, this is what I am thinking: There was a reason that he decided to study abroad. He wanted the experience, the change of scenery. He wanted the life-changing experience of meeting new people and finding out who he truly is while being a part of a totally different world.

You said he calls you. If he is calling you often, that most likely means he enjoys being with you, but it does not necessarily mean that he wants to be with you in a relationship, now or ever. Now, I can say this: girls often overreact. I’m not saying that boys do not, but it’s a little more obvious in girls.

So, take a breath. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. Maybe he decided to just get to know you and then explore something else as the relationship goes on. Either way, we are making hypothetical conclusions.

Take a chill pill. Get to know him more. He might change. Maybe the boy did some growing up while he was gone – shocking, I know. But, nevertheless, it’s possible.

Maybe he doesn’t fit into your plan anymore, and maybe you’re not what he is looking for. OK, that’s a little harsh, but when he gets back, just see what happens.

So for now, stop freaking out -that is clearly the worst thing a person could do. Act normal, and let life take its course. Because like Lauren said, although she hoped that things would be the same, she knew that they would be different. And after all, we know how quickly life can change – especially when we least expect it.

Tip of the week: buckle your seatbelt. It most likely will be a bumpy but fun ride!