The WiseCat

Tina Lamsback

Dear WiseCat,I am interested in dating a guy who is a lot older than me. I am a sophomore, and he has already graduated. My friends are giving me a hard time about it and I am concerned. What should I do? Is this age gap a real problem?Sincerely,Older and Wiser

Dear Older and Wiser,OK, first, think about it. How old is he really? If he is 10 years older than you, I am going to say that is a little odd. Then again, it might be a little different for you. However, consider why such a large gap would lead to a potential misunderstanding. Now, what I mean by misunderstanding is that you are at very different points in your lives. If there is more than I would say a 6-year difference, that might be a little awkward. Just ponder the situation at hand. There are certain events that you have yet to experience while at school that he has already experienced. I’m not trying to make you not want to be with this guy, but without a doubt, you’re going to get upset. I can only presume that you are not 21 yet. And in that case, I am assuming he is. Therefore, are you going to feel left out when he hangs out with his friends and you’re back with your friends at school doing things that are more appropriate for your age? In the end, if you really think this is going to work, then you know what to do. Just don’t jump into this because you want to prove something. If you really want to make it work then it will. Talk to your friends and see their side and then make sure that everything still lines up. XOXO, Tina

Dear WiseCat,I wanted to ask this guy to my formal, but I know that my friend also wants to ask him. What do I do? I really value our friendship, but I really like this guy and know I would have a fun time at the formal. How can I ask him to the formal but not have my friend mad at me?Sincerely,Formal Season Woes

Dear Formal Season Woes,Your head is in the right place. Don’t let your interest in this guy get in the way of your friendship. Talk to your friend. She very well might have thought of another option. I am assuming she has already read this issue all over your face. Your nonverbal reactions probably are showing her that you are uneasy about this situation. If she’s a good friend of yours, she already knows this is a concern. Approach her about this situation and see how it goes. Formal season is not time to lose a friend over boy issues. Get a great dress, dance a little and have fun!XOXO, Tina