Horoscopes

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)You should always have a back-up highlighter for your bag. People don’t always return them promptly after borrowing them – and they probably won’t understand the difference between a “bag highlighter” and a “desk highlighter.”

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)Having trouble deciding on your sixth class for next semester? Acting, Calligraphy and Japanese Culinary Culture all sound like so much fun. Flip a three-sided coin, or maybe consult a Magic 8 Ball.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)Your professors have decided that this is the week you will actually have to do the reading. Good luck balancing that with all your other papers.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)It may seem like a good idea to take a few doses of cold medicine before class, but it probably isn’t – especially if you have to make a presentation.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)To Eagles’ fans who thought the team would follow in the Phillies’ footsteps: You should probably reconsider. Eagles, Super Bowl 2020!

Aries (March 21-April 19)With Thanksgiving only two weeks away, it is time to start thinking of excuses for missing that family tradition of pantomiming the first Thanksgiving.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)Branch out. Try making candied apples or pumpkin pie. You never know when you’ll be asked to be the next June Cleaver.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)When you don’t know the answer on the test, it may be best to answer with a formula or paragraph that actually makes sense. The Japanese did not use submarines for the first air raid.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)Your dining points are running out, but you should really revert back to elementary school and get Lunchables from Connelly.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) No matter how busy you get, make sure you’re fully caffeinated before doing that problem set (or six); three does not and never will equal four.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)Start researching those holidays now. You don’t want to miss out on any fun and food, and your parents can’t wait to get your “Diwali List,” your “Hanukkah List” and your “Christmas List.”

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)Good thing you have your computer in class. You never know when you’ll need to debate the definition of “concept” for your discussion.