Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

While all the celebrities’ birthdays are crucial to your life functioning, you may want to draw the line when you get to the boys on “Mama’s Boys.”

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

It is too early in the semester to begin making up the answers on your tests and quizzes. Your professors are probably collecting a list of “facts” you included to publish in a book to make their millions.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Start preparing for the Super Bowl now. There are only three days before the last football game of the season; after that you will have to move on to the next sport. Welcome to college basketball.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

There is only one way to eat a cupcake. Frosting first. The stars know when you eat cupcakes incorrectly.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

Anticipate a snow day next week. Make plans to have a snowball fight, make snow angels and sled down the hills on campus.

Cancer (Jun 22-July 22)

When you put the cart back at the store, make sure you actually get all your items out. Leaving all your new stuff in the cart when you drive away is embarrassing, and you need to buy all new stuff.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

When you get really excited about the new colored pens, high-fiving is a good idea. Stabbing someone with a pen while you high-five is a bad idea.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

It’s time to buy the books for your classes. Carrying them to class makes the professor think you are reading – brownie points are always good.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Get with the times. Sign up for G-mail. You won’t regret it – unless all your e-mails get lost between accounts. Then you might be in some trouble.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Seriously consider options before you do anything drastic. Dying your hair, getting a tattoo, piercing your lip, these things are a little intense, and could definitely turn out to be a major mistake.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Be careful at your next intramural game. Hospital bills definitely add up, and it’s hard to get there when you’ve dislocated both your knees.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Find a way to link your interests/hobbies to your classes. This way, when you are doing whatever you want, you can pretend you are actually being productive.