Horoscopes
March 25, 2009
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
When your life is in the pits, bury yourself in a hole and hopefully you’ll grow into a beautiful plant.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Look out! There is someone behind you.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
The stars actually can read your poker face. They suggest that you work on your bluffing skills.
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
If someone suddenly becomes insitant on being your friend, beware. They may be using you for your lottery number.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
Your love for Conor Oberst will not always get you a party invitation. The stars recommend you “Spend An Evening With Saddle Creek” instead.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Great job finding that vintage cardigan on E-Bay. Sure, it may have only cost $10, but make sure to clean it before you wear it. You just want to look like Grandpa, not smell like him.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Although they haven’t been washed in a week, wear your lucky socks during the Duke game. Jay Wright will thank you later.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
While you’re bursting with excitment over the pending NovaFest performer announcement, don’t forget to finish that 10-page paper. You can’t go to NovaFest if you flunk out of school.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Got some extra points to spend? The stars recommend buying a pre-viewed movie at Reel Divine. Hurry, or all the copies of “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” will be sold out!
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
The stars predict one of the a capella groups will perform your favorite song. at Acappellapalooza. Don’t miss it!
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
It may officially be spring, but don’t break out the flip flops just yet. Sure, the flowers may be blooming, but the 40-degree temperatures aren’t ideal for your toes.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
If you find yourself in the wrong lane at a toll plaza, just keep driving. Hopping out to get your ticket is more trouble than it’s worth.