Aries (March 21-April 19)

Embrace the April showers, jump in the puddles or rivers running through the Quad. Make sure you’re in proper rain gear, ruining your shoes is not hot.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Don’t try hitchhiking to Detroit. That creepy guy driving along might just kill you.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

President Obama pre-empted your favorite show again. Maybe next time he’ll fire the professor who’s failing you.

Cancer (Jun 22-July 22)

Rioting in the middle of Lancaster Avenue with the whole student body is one thing. But rioting in the middle of Lancaster by yourself won’t get you on the front page of the Inquirer.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Get ready for this weekend’s madness. Win or lose you will need an emergency kit, including a defribillator and blue paint remover.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Remember: April Fools’ Day was yesterday. Today, it is not OK to randomly play cruel pranks on your friends.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Maybe, by next year’s April Fools’ Day, your roommate will be speaking to you again. However, the stars doubt it.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Your bracket’s current rank on Facebook: No. 33,952. There’s always next year.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Only six weekends until graduation, including Easter. Plan fantastic events for all possible moments. Sleep is for the weak.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Plan an Easter egg hunt for younger siblings or neighbors. Don’t forget to hide some high enough that they will leave them for you. Why should they get all the candy?

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Your hatred of April Fools’ Day is justified when your roommate took all of your clothing and replaced it with pink leotards and tutus.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

You’re looking a little haggard. The stars suggest a trip to the spa over break.