Walter Smith-Randolph

It’s Christmas in April! That’s right, it’s formal season. Now that you’re booked every Thursday and Friday for various cocktails, grab-a-date’s and formals for every organization that you signed up for at the Activities Fair, there are some rules we should go over. Yes, you should play like a champion but not a porcelain hugging champion wondering where those bruises came from last night. Nothing is worse than the kid at the formal who didn’t know his or her limit.

1) Make sure you eat before getting on the bus

I know, I know. The coconut shrimp is really good, but let’s not try to make a meal out of the egg rolls and mini quesadillas. It’s not cute when you’re scarfing down the appetizers.

2) Keep your hands on your own date

It might be called a “grab-a-date” but please grab your own date and not mine. Please keep all limbs to yourself for the entire duration of the night.

3) The staircase is not a theme park attraction

Please do not use the railing of the staircase as a Six Flags attraction, it’s both dangerous and obnoxious.

4) No grinding during the Cupid Shuffle

There are some songs that call for a certain type of dancing. Please do not drop down and get your eagle on when the Cupid Shuffle is playing. Let’s pretend like we have some rhythm and “walk it by ourselves.”

5) Just because there is a balcony, does not mean you should throw things off of it

When you’re on the second floor of the Plough and Stars, do not play “egg drop” with beer bottles. Someone will get hurt.

6) Don’t ask your true love to a formal

You do not want to ask your potential lifetime mate to the formal. He or she may not think you’re husband or wife material once they see you dropping it like it’s hot.

7) No dancing in high traffic areas.

There is a dance floor for a reason. Please no dancing in the hallways, bathrooms, on the stairs or in the street.

8) Calling your parents during the formal is not a good idea.

I know it sounded like a really good idea at the time, but calling your parents while everyone around you is screaming out their version of “Living on a prayer” is not ideal.

If you stick to these rules, you are sure to have a good time and not be shunned by your entire organization.