MCINTYRE: Loogie launchers beware: a quest to stop the spitting



Meredith Davisson

There are many things that women appreciate: strangers who hold the door for us, genuine compliments about how nice we look on a given day, George Clooney.

There are also many things that absolutely turn us off: boys who wink at us – á la Rico Suave poser, body odor, and the public, projectile spitting that takes place on Villanova’s campus.

To hear a boy clear his throat and spit is the rough equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard to many members of the female sex.

Yes, everyone is sick right now. As a best case scenario, you’ve got a big, nasty cold. As a worst case, you have H1N1. However, this sickly state is not restricted by gender and the swine flu does not discriminate.

Yet for some reason, boys are launching phlegm balls of awe-inspiring proportions all over the place. Day in and day out, I’m sidestepping the visible remnants on my way to class like I’m playing hopscotch.

If you really must, there is an appropriate time and place to launch your loogie.

That place, contrary to apparent inclination, is not in the public arena. Perhaps you are on a long run. Maybe you’re watching the game with a bunch of other projectile-salivating men and are bonding over your shared male, salivating interest. It’s possible that you just took a bite of sour yogurt.

However, if you are not in one of the above situations and are unsure of the societal sanction of your saliva, you may safely assume that if there are people around you, spitting is not advised.

What’s more, this qualm is not limited to female-male stratification. While some boys might perceive this deed as expressive of some primitive male ritual that demands respect – as when male gorillas pound their chests with their fists – to say that the entire male population shares the same value for such a custom would be an unsubstantiated generalization.

More often than not, saliva will not earn you any friends or followers,whether they are male or female.

Perhaps the most crucial thing to emphasize, at least for those practicing loogie launching, is that if you spit in front of a person, that person probably will not date you.

Whether you intend this effect or not, know that you are narrowing the pool of datable people every time you participate in this filthy practice. From this College of Liberal Arts & Sciences student’s rudimentary knowledge of the business world, one might describe this hateful habit as a sunk cost. The fundamental characteristic of a sunk cost seems to be that it is an investment which sees no benefit. It’s the pay without the payoff and, in this economy, who can afford that?

One accolade that can be extended toward expectorating enthusiasts is that there does not seem to have been any loogies publicly let loose inside any buildings.

It seems to be the general consensus that, like smoking or mud-wrestling, this act is of a more outdoor-appropriate nature.

Nevertheless, just as these pastimes should not be conducted anywhere and everywhere outside, neither should your spitting. They all demand an additional level of conscientiousness for those around you, one that Villanova’s boys sometimes seem to lack.

Essentially, spitting is drooling with a little bit of force behind it. As such, the two should carry the same negative connotation.

Do us all a favor, and look around before you launch.


Liz McIntyre is a junior psychology major from Chapel Hill, N.C.. She can be reached at [email protected].