The Villanovan Astrologer

Brett Klein

Aries (March 21 – April 20)


Put your phone down and lift your head up. There’s too much going on, especially this time of year, to be bitten by the tech bug. 


Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

Spring is the season of the bucket hat. It’s protective yet stylish. It just gets the job done. 


Gemini (May 22 – June 22)

If your name is Beth, come to The Villanovan office…we have your straw hat. 


 Cancer (June 23 – July 23)


Have you ever eaten chips on the fourth floor of the library and wondered if the crunching sound was as loud to everyone else as it sounds to you? Well it is. Stop eating chips in the library. 


Leo (July 24 – Aug. 23)

Be like Jason Derulo and shout your name at the beginning of every conversation. It’s a great icebreaker. 


Virgo (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23)


Quail are overpopulated in this region and they’re decimating the grub population, so you’re justified for hunting them. 


Libra (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23)

Your best ideas come in the wee hours of the morning when you’re too tired to make any moves. Carry that inspiration to the next day and take action. You’ll be glad you did. 


Scorpio (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22) 

The weather has you in a grand old mood, but also one that directly clashes with accomplishing anything related to school. Priorities. 


Sagittarius (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21)

The non-stop evolution of the western world has had an immeasurable impact on our solipsistic perspectives toward the world. Don’t take your quality of life for granted. 


Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20)

Scooby Doo is wiser than you might think. You can pick up some valuable friendship tips from that dude. And he rode around in a van and solved mysteries.


♒  Aquarius (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19)


Now that March Madness is over, stop gambling. Spend your money on food or some other worthy cause. 

Pisces (Feb. 20 – March 20) 

Ignorance may be bliss, but it’s also ignorance.