10 Totally Random Questions for…Maura Lavelle



Brett Klein

1. If you could find Atlantis, the lost underwater city, who would you invite to live there with you after you invent an underwater breathing apparatus? 

I’ve been listening to the Broadway Cast soundtrack of “The Little Mermaid” nonstop, so I think I would invite that whole crew down and then we could spend our time underwater putting on that musical. I love musicals. 

2. What do you typically order at Minella’s (or any diner)?

Chocolate chip pancakes with two eggs and then a toasted plain bagel.  A bagel and egg sandwich never disappoints. 

3. What is the proper order in which to go to the gym, get a haircut and shower? Why?

Gym, shower, and then haircut.  It kind of seems silly to shower before getting a haircut, though.  

4. If you could invent the simiphor—a hybrid between a simile and a metaphor—what would be its definition? 

I’m struggling to understand the concept of a simiphor. Aren’t similes and metaphors the same except similes use like and as? So would it just use one of the two? I’m confused. Can I pass? Pass.  

5. If you were a rapper, who would your dis track be aimed at? 

Aaron Carter. Kid needs to get a reality check.  He thinks he can beat Shaq in basketball. His ego should be taken down a couple of notches. The track would mostly be a publicity stunt so that I could meet him and convince him to perform at my 21st birthday bash.

6. For your late night food, do you prefer savory or sweet and why?

Definitely sweet. One hundred percent. I have a huge sweet tooth so even late at night when sugar is the last thing I need, I’ll have something sweet.

7. Describe your ideal Friday night restaurant experience. Where are you, who are you with and what are you eating? 

I would go to Maggiano’s and eat family style with my four closest friends, Agnetha Fältskog, Björn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson, and Anni-Frid Lyngstad.  Who are they, you ask? They’re the members of the second best-selling musical group of all time: ABBA. I would probably get calamari as an appetizer, linguini with clams for the entrée and some type of chocolate as a dessert. 

8. Do you really believe that crime can pay?

I’m a criminology major, so I don’t think you want me to go off about crime.  But, yes, it certainly can. 

9. If you were running for president, what would be your campaign slogan? 

I used “I Choose You Maura-chu!” as my main slogan when I ran for president of my high school, mostly because I owned a Pikachu mascot costume. My whole campaign was Pokémon themed.  It contained tons of horrible puns.  

10. You are designing a new building on campus. What is it called and what is it going to be used for? 

I would create an exclusive study building for all of the library regulars called Falvey Under.  I’m a first floor kind of gal and the first floor can get pretty crowded during busy weeks. It would contain tons of outlets, comfortable seating, a nap room, and breakfast food. #FalveyUnder #HypeIt