The Villanovan Astrologer
November 8, 2016
Scorpio
You are at a turning point in your life. TURN LEFT.
Sagittarius
You may experience some déjà vu this week, so keep a sharp mind.
Capricorn
Your crush is hiding something from you. Just kidding, your crush is hiding from you. Ruh roh.
Aquarius
The time lapse feature on the iPhone 7 is trippy. TRIPPY.
Pisces
In 1872, Susan B. Anthony was arrested for attempting to vote in a presidential election. If you’re not at least getting arrested for the cause you care about, you’re not trying hard enough.
Aries
Next time you get dared to do something, make sure someone else hears the dare so you don’t look like a weirdo for doing something stupid.
Taurus
Writing horoscopes is hard. But, someone’s gotta do it.
Gemini
You may experience some déjà vu this week, so keep a sharp mind.
Cancer
You may or may not possibly find yourself in a situation that requires you to act or not. In doing so, you will find your own truth.
Leo
If all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you? No? You are not a loyal friend.
Virgo
You missed your registration time. Enjoy your Friday night class.
Libra
If you haven’t consumed enough caffeine to stunt the growth of a small animal then what have you done today?