I am reporting live with a new lease on life. Rather, a new lease on love. After returning from my cousin’s beautiful wedding this weekend, my pessimism about the happily-ever-after has somewhat subsided. Among the company of my entire South Side Irish Catholic family, and in the presence of a true love story, I was blissfully reminded of the joy of weddings. As this glorious season is upon us, I thought it would be fitting to dedicate this week’s column to appreciating the details that make weddings so special. As a single, unmarried woman who has attended a mere two weddings in my lifetime, I am probably woefully unqualified to insert my opinion. Then again, when has that ever stopped me?
The Attendees
My mom has given me some incredibly valuable advice. On the topic of weddings, she has strong opinions on who should make the invite list. After a wedding spent largely entertaining her parents’ friends, she has impressed upon me the importance of inviting only those who played meaningful roles in your life. When it comes to weddings, certain things feel as if they must be done. Plus-ones? Extended family? What about children? Here’s the thing: your wedding is about you and your partner. It is a time to celebrate your love, and with those who played a part in making you the people you are. Sometimes it may be necessary to invite your mom’s childhood bestie, but don’t forget your own autonomy. So, make the tough calls and invite those you truly want to spend your special day with.
Timeless, But Personal
Do you want to look back on your wedding photos and cringe, hating what was trending at the time? I am not suggesting that you shouldn’t stay true to yourself. I am warning that following fashion or pop culture fads that aren’t true to your sense of style will most definitely never end well. Just because it’s trending doesn’t mean it’s worthy. For your wedding, when in doubt, err on the side of timeless. Weave personal details throughout the ceremony, bringing a sense of self into the celebration. For example, my cousin Emily’s Texas wedding came to life through small touches like glass cowgirl vases with wildflowers, but was effortlessly classy with white ribbons on wooden pews. Trust your judgement. Your wedding should be authentically you.
Hostess With The Mostest
While your wedding is undeniably about you, being the star and the host is unfortunately part of the bargain. No need to fear. Wearing two hats is possible. Whether it be a local or destination wedding, your guests have spent their time and money to take part in your ceremony. Let them know that it means something to you. Find a way to greet your guests, but set aside moments for just you and your partner. Another cousin of mine stopped at each table and snapped a quick Polaroid, creating a special moment with everyone in attendance, but coveting sacred time with each other as the bride and groom. Be a gracious host, but have fun doing it.
Celebrate, Really
As I stated in my testament to birthdays, life is meant to be celebrated. Your wedding is a prime example of this. I am a firm believer that the festivities should last much longer than just a ceremony and reception. If you want a whole weekend, or God forbid, a week, take it. While you certainly don’t have to mandate attendance, spend time with loved ones who are willing and able to participate in the festivities. Not to continually harp on about my weekend wedding experience, but we arrived on Wednesday and spent time as a family all the way until the wedding on Friday, then continued with breakfast the next day. In this regard, the wedding was elongated to allow for even more memory-making. It wasn’t just a wedding day. It was a weekend of joy and celebration of love.
In all seriousness, there aren’t any rules for your wedding. That being said, it will be a day you remember for the rest of your life. One thing I know for certain (speaking from zero experience whatsoever) is that the most important thing is who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. The rest will fall into place.
With love,
Maggie
