As the school year ends, and seniors look forward to graduation, some seniors may be thinking, “Will my friends and I still be friends after college?” It can be anxiety-inducing to think about whether someone can maintain their friendships once their paths are separated and new ones are forged. However, Al Martinez-Fonts, a long-time Villanova alumnus, has answered that question for upcoming graduates.
Martinez-Fonts was a Villanova student who graduated in 1971 and still maintains dozens of close friendships, many of whom were his Villanova classmates. He cites having a common background, a common bond and a common interest as being the key to remaining friends with someone for many years.
“I think the key to any kind of friendship is just keeping up the conversation, especially today, since it’s easy with texts and emails,” Martinez-Fonts advised. “Back in the day, we used to have to write a letter.”
One of the benefits of social media platforms like Twitter, Instagram and Discord is how easily they let people connect and communicate, including people from across the globe. A graduate who lives in New Jersey can easily joke over memes and keep up with a friend over in Louisiana, for example. People who were in the Villanova University Discord together can potentially find times during which their schedules align and hang out.
Martinez-Fonts also recommends keeping up the conversation to grow one’s career opportunities, specifically one’s network. It certainly does not mean you should befriend people just to get ahead, but it does mean putting in constant effort to get to know someone is key. It can be difficult if you are shy or introverted, but it is always doable, and you never have to make yourself the biggest voice in the room for it.
Simply going up to someone you have regularly interacted with or noticed you have something in common with, like “Hey, my name is Al,” and continuing from there can go a long way. Then you can ask if they would like to hang out with you later over some coffee.
They do not even have to be long-term commitments, but just chances to get your foot in the door and potentially begin a new friendship. Maybe you two are in a softball league together, go to the same church, both have children and can relate to the stresses of parenthood and even more.
Martinez-Fonts stresses that life is full of risk and that this applies to friendships, too.
“Every so often, you meet people, and they turn out to be no good,” Martinez-Fonts said. “Bad people, crooked people, people who you don’t want to be friends with, and then at some point you end up miserable.”
His words remind us to be careful about who we bring close to us in our lives. As he states, relationships must be give-and-take. Both individuals must be able to support each other without sacrificing respect and basic needs.
Not everyone you meet is going to fit your type. Maybe your personalities clash too much, and that is fine. You do not need to befriend everyone, nor do you need to commit after every shot taken.
At the end of the day, your truest friends are not just the people you grab a drink or play sports with. It is the people who, when you tell them about the birth of your first child, a big raise at work or being sick, drop everything they are doing to be there for you. They are the ones who cheer you on during your successes, pull you up when life is pushing you down and check up on you.
As Villanova students prepare for graduation, many students wonder what they want to do next. They might be wondering what their careers or moving out will be like and whether they will be close to their friends?
However, as Martinez-Fonts said, “If you’re willing to go out there and meet people, you’ll get a lot back.”
