The Fashion Police arrive on campus for the fall semester



Mikaela Krim

Despite having taken a riveting fashion design class in freshman year of high school, I do not claim to be any expert on fashion. Yes, my lizard-inspired mermaid-style silk and chiffon dress was nothing short of genius, but I stopped reading Vogue a long time ago, once I realized the weight of a hundred starving women and all that poorly-apportioned disposable income was too much for my adolescent back to bear. 

Yet it doesn’t take an expert to be privy to current trends. Developments in fashion, unlike those in the vehicular insurance market and Augustinian theology, touch the lives of almost everyone, Villanova students in particular. 

All that’s required to ascertain what’s hot and what’s not is a keen eye (and maybe a little research). What follows is a short list of what will (or should be) adorning your body in the upcoming months. Most of these selections are tailored (no pun intended) for women, but in the modern age I’m sure you can get away with bending the gender constraints. 

1. The shirtdress 

You don’t need an article to tell you that the shirtdress is SO in right now. What amounts to a loose-fitting slab of fabric chopped unceremoniously from a roll in Jo-Ann’s has been insidiously invading the closets of young women everywhere. Most body types can pull off this decorative potato sack that has sometimes been confused for an oversized towel, usually striped or in solid earth tones. Thanks to fashion trends like these, upscale restaurants are beginning to resemble slumber parties with an excess of strangers and overpriced food. Rock on, shirtdress. Rock on. 

2. Carwash pleats

Evoking, as their name implies, the separated strips of cerulean fabric in most automatic car washes, skirts with these pleats will soon be ubiquitous. 

Midi-length skirts in this style debuted on Christian Dior’s runway, but they’re making their way to your local department store as we speak. Be sure to grab one or two of these fine statement pieces—just know that when wearing one, extra caution is required around dirty cars, whose owners might not be as discerning as you would hope. 

3. Thick-heeled shoes (Lady Loafers) 

Finally, stilettos are fading. These heels are bringing comfort back into the footwear game, giving us that nice butt lift without the heightened risk of breaking one or both ankles. Mom will be so thrilled. 

4. Exaggerated Hemlines

If you’ve ever harbored the unrealized desire to look like an upside-down vase, now is your time. Designers are bringing back the asymmetrical style and encouraging the average consumer to express their individuality (aren’t they always?!). 

Eccentric and alluring, these wavy, inverted, crooked, artistic, strange, or mildly obnoxious hemlines—the adjective varies by brand—will garner you all the attention that you, as a living, breathing human being, rightly deserve. 

5. Fur on your feet

This trend is bizarre. But like most bizarre things, including those creepy eyelashes for car headlights and my RA’s obsession with animal memes (I’m kidding, it’s cute), they’re impossible to ignore. Fendi, Gucci and Antonio Marras have all released lines with a focus on ridiculously furry shoes. Whether the occasion calls for sandals, boots, high heels or ballet shoes, rest assured that your metatarsals will be comfortably warm this season.

6. Statement earrings

Wearing one earring is no longer a trend reserved exclusively for the world’s pirates. For whatever reason, designers are toying with the concept of massive, mismatched jewelry as a bold statement piece. 

From a person whose earring sets normally comprise one, as opposed to two, I vote in favor of this idea. I harbor some doubts about who, if anyone, will be able to pull this off without looking like their previous night was a particularly rough one. 

7. Chunky knit sweaters

Amorphous and unflattering, knit sweaters have draped themselves on the bodies of unsuspecting consumers and are refusing to leave. It’s possible they’re just too heavy to take off. Who knows? I hate them. They’re ugly. But for those who value comfort over frostbite (which I always took to be worth it in the name of showing a little skin), the fashion world is granting a small miracle—the ability to be stylishly comfortable. Enjoy it while it lasts. 

8. Black and brown

Is this supposed to be news? As traditional harbingers of the impending chill of winter, black and brown hues have always been a staple on the fall runways. Yet it bears noting here that the colors are in, for those ill-informed who might forget that white shoes and pants are strictly forbidden after Labor Day. 

The fashion gods forbid it. So in order to avoid invoking their wrath, please trade in the light tones for something a little earthier. You never know when your night will call for the necessity to hide among some trees and underbrush, anyway, and it doesn’t hurt to be prepared. 

9. Florals

As if our eyes aren’t already burning from floral overstimulation throughout the summer months, winter is bringing with it more of our favorite, loud patterns. This trend is a boon for clothing creators everywhere—the possibilities are endless! Green and blue! Green and white! Green and blue and white! Little flowers! Green and blue and white with little flowers! Surely, this style has a staying power rarely seen. And the only downside is that, when standing in a region where the trend is particularly popular, you feel a bit like Jackson Pollack and Salvador Dali had their way with an English garden and your head is floating in it. Dizzying, for sure, but not necessarily unpleasant. 

10. Chokers     

In case you didn’t notice, this facet of the ’90’s grunge style is making a comeback, right when our post-adolescent necks are the perfect size and weight to display them with grace. I’m serious. 

If you’re not wearing a choker at this very moment, you’re missing out. 

This opportunity only comes every 20 years, and do you really want the other moms to catch you rocking that black braided wire around your trachea when you’re picking the kids up from lacrosse practice? It’ll be all they talk about for weeks and then you’ll never get elected to head of the PTA. So be smart—velvet, wire, satin are all fair game, as long as it’s tight. 

These are only highlights from a long list of style trends that will be making the rounds in the upcoming months. Bear in mind one thing, however—yes, these styles will be popular, but that doesn’t mean it’s your responsibility to adhere to them. With confidence comes beauty. And in all honesty, as someone who makes it her daily mission to remain visible in a crowd from at least 1600 meters away, I’ll be using this as a list of things not to wear. Choice of clothing is your prerogative, and all I can ask of you, is to wear whatever you do with unbridled passion.