*Disclaimer: I am not a sports journalist. This is a satire column.
**Another Disclaimer: I have never met Jalen Hurts or Patrick Mahomes. Like, ever.
***Yet Another Disclaimer: I just want it to be super-known that this article is fake. Like, super fake. This didn’t happen.
*****Still Disclaiming: Are we all good now? Now that all my bases are covered, I’m going to start the fake article.
Montana vs. Elway. Aikman vs. Kelly. Manning vs. Brady. McNabb vs. Brady. Manning vs. Brady again.
There has been a fair share of epic quarterback rivals in the Super Bowl over the years, and this year is no different.
All eyes are on Jalen Hurts and Patrick Mahomes, the two quarterbacks fighting in Super Bowl LIX.
This will be Mahomes’ fifth Super Bowl appearance. The Chiefs, and Mahomes, have a chance to make history this season by being the first NFL team to win the Super Bowl three years in a row.
Hurts has only one other Super Bowl appearance. It just so happens that that one other appearance was against the Chiefs in 2023. Hurts has the opportunity to take down the dynasty, which just so happens to be the team that stopped him from winning last time, all while winning his first ring.
That’s a lot of pressure on both quarterbacks. What’s worse: not being able to complete a historic three-peat or losing to the same team twice in three years?
Luckily for us, I got to sit down with both quarterbacks and ask them that very question, as well as the other questions the nation has for these two.
When asked about the pressure they were facing, both quarterbacks stated that they were not letting it get to them.
Mahomes explained that the result is ultimately out of his hands.
“I go out there and play,” Mahomes said. “I play hard, but it’s not up to me. It’s in God’s hands. It’s up to God and the officials, and I am pretty sure they are both on my side.”
Hurts, on the other hand, sees the pressure as a positive motivator for him and his team.
“Pressure can either crush you or turn you into a diamond,” Hurts said. “You just gotta let yourself be that diamond.”
In addition to the pressure the two are facing, there is also a lot of hate coming their way. Football fans have been pretty vocal about their disappointment in this year’s Super Bowl teams.
Philly is no stranger to hate for its teams and its fans. Recently, a player on the Rams (who shall not be named) said that he “hates Eagles fans.” This is not an uncommon attitude when teams play against Philly teams.
“You don’t fight fire with fire,” Hurts said in response to the haters. “You just let it burn itself out.”
When asked if he could maybe elaborate on that statement, Hurts just complicated things a little bit more.
“You just let them talk,” he said. “They talk. We play. We don’t get paid for talking. If we got paid for talking, we wouldn’t get paid.”
As for the hate the Chiefs are receiving, Mahomes claimed that all of it was unwarranted. According to him, there is no truth in anything the haters are saying.
“We don’t pay the officials,” Mahomes said. “There is no script. Don’t you think if we were writing the script, we would make sure we won by more than three every game?”
Mahomes also asked if he could comment on hate against his family. He and his wife, Brittany Mahomes, have been under scrutiny for naming their children Sterling, Bronze and Golden, as it implies that they are ranking their children.
“They’re just names,” Mahomes said. “We don’t have favorites. We love our girls, Sterling and Golden. Bronze is cool, too.”
Back to the real point of the interview, when asked about their confidence in their teams for the upcoming championship, both quarterbacks think that they have it in the bag.
“Me and Trav–I mean, me and the team–I mean, us, the Chiefs, we’re the best in the league,” Mahomes said. “There’s no way we lose this game. Trust me. Uh, not that I know what’s going to happen.”
Hurts also seemed very confident in his team and their ability.
“When push comes to shove, we always get the dub,” Hurts said.
Plain and simple.
Personally, I cannot wait to tune in to this Sunday’s game and see these two face off.
I can’t confirm if I got to read a copy of the script, but let’s just say that either way, Taylor Swift is going to be very happy.
