The WiseCat

Tina Lamsback

Dear Wisecat, Is it true that a relationship is really not only between both the people in it but their friends and/or roommates as well? Sincerely,Do you snore or not?

Dear do you snore or not,Let me go on record saying that the only people that should be in the relationship are the two people who are romantically involved – not the roommate, not the best friend, not the guy friend who thinks he has a chance, not the random girl who agrees with everything that the romantically involved guy friend says just because she secretly has a thing for him or anyone else for that matter, just those two people. But this is the real world and whether we like it or not there are always friends who are involved in addition to the actual two people who are dating; not necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes confusing. What it comes down to is that with romance it’s all the luck of the draw. Think of it this way: Las Vegas, even Atlantic City – both towns of betting, gambling and, more importantly, luck. This past fall break I was able to experience the life of Atlantic City with two of my favorite people. While observing and understanding the rules of blackjack or “21,” whichever you prefer, I realized something about love. An epiphany if you will. Love is like the game of “21.” The participants include the dealer, the players and the hecklers. If you think about it, the dealer is really the higher being, whoever you believe put you on this earth. The players – that would be you – you’re the participant in this game. Lastly, the heckler would be your roommate or best friend. So, think about it, the dealer might start passing out the cards, and you, the player, receive a 12. In relation to your relationship, you think he is handsome, kind and really cares about you. However, you find out differently later on. So you “lose,” the cycle starts again and the dealer deals out more cards. Not a perfect 21. You think that life will never deal you a perfect set, but you go with it and wait and see. As the game of life and love goes on, you observe, you’re more careful with each card that passes you by, because you have been hurt once before. Now, this is where the heckler or the roommate/best friend comes in. There is always some person or people on the sidelines telling you “Go for it!” or “Beware!” As you inch towards betting more money, or in this case taking another chance, you hesitate, unsure of the risks, but the heckler tells you to go ahead and enter yourself for just one more round. Each player is always different. Some people get more hesitant from one relationship to the next, when the previous one didn’t work out and some just jump right back into the game.I am a firm believer in surveying a situation. Do your homework in relationships, sometimes it might be too late, and sometimes it is just in time. Either way people get hurt or they hurt others. And then there are sometimes when no matter what is dealt to you, it doesn’t work out, and people try so hard to fix it, but they keep making it worse. So there is such a “21?” That is when the roommate comes back in to help you sweep up all the pieces. You can super glue them back together all you want, but either way you’re still trying to mold your perfect person, your “21.” In the end, you will date, you will break hearts and your own heart will be broken, but if you think about it, no one is really perfect, and your roommate/best friend, they are just as clueless as you are. So does anyone really ever know which end is up? Maybe the dealer is the only one “holding the cards” unless you finally decide to take matters into your own hands. Until then, I wouldn’t settle for anything less than 21 – if that is possible.