Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Giving your friend the combination to your room was a bad choice. You’ll discover this the hard way when he comes into your room at 4 a.m. to use your Xbox.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You will begin to say “BowChickaWowWow” compulsively after everything everyone says, even if it’s not remotely sexual.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Halloween has been over for a while now. Please do everyone a favor and stop wearing that ridiculous costume everywhere you go.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Your night will suddenly take a dive – literally – when you trip walking down the steps of the bus while on the way to your organization’s formal. Good luck trying to convince people you’re still sober.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Right about now, you are seriously reconsidering your decision not to bring your winter jacket or any of you cold-weather clothes to school.

Aries (March 21-April 19) You will discover that there is a fan club in your honor composed of people you have never even met. At first you will think it’s flattering; then you will realize it’s downright creepy.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) While you think it may, ordering 10 pies per day from your favorite pizza place is not going to save the business. It’s only going to cause you to have to buy a new, larger wardrobe.

Gemini (May 21-June 21) Remember that 30-page research project you’ve known about since August but have yet to start? Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Now panic!

Cancer (Jun 22-July 22) You will be completely dismayed when you receive a parking ticket – one that is outrageously expensive because you were in a fire zone. A huge fire truck couldn’t have even fit into such a small spot!

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Running out of fun ideas for things to do on the weekend? Try riding all the kiddy rides outside the grocery store. Hey, it was fun when you were five.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) After seeing the effectiveness of the NOVA Alert system, you will find yourself really wishing there was also a TINA Alert that gave up-to-the-minute ‘Nova gossip.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) You will suddenly become extremely concerned with the socio-economic climate of the United States and the injustices prevalent in our current federal system. What? The stars can be serious every once in a while.