Aries (March 21-April 19)Missed the bus to your formal? No worries – just start dancing madly in the parking lot while blasting music from your iPhone.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)Remember that time the Internet went down right when you were in the middle of doing that important research paper? Oh wait … that’s about to happen to you this weekend – sorry!

Gemini (May 21-June 21)Your love of arts and crafts will consume your life this weekend as you construct spring-themed decorations to cover every inch of your walls.

Cancer (Jun 22-July 22)This week, lather yourself in sunscreen in anticipation of the rising temperatures. Think that sounds silly? Don’t blame the stars when you turn lobster red after sitting at the Oreo for just 15 minutes.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) While it was a good idea to spend extra time preparing for that job interview, it probably wasn’t the best idea to stay up all night doing so. You only have yourself to blame for falling asleep on the train and waking up way past your stop.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)When you have to go to the hospital because you can no longer move your fingers, you know your “Rock Band” obsession has gone too far.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)Make sure not to yell random things out your window at 3 a.m. You never know who may be listening.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)When checking out that possible apartment for the summer, make sure to get a thorough inspection. Otherwise, you might end up with 60,000 bees hiding inside your walls.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)Your inbox will be inundated with spam e-mail about the upcoming primary to a point that your mail system will go into panic mode and self-destruct.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)Switch up your Saturday night plans a bit and go on a ghost hunt. Good places to start: St. Mary’s and Alumni Halls.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)Congratulations! You made it through a formal in high heels without falling flat on your face. There’s always a first time for everything!

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)Replacement lampshade – $25. Cleaning supplies to remove the paint stains from your floor – $35. Plaster and spackling paste to repair the hole you kicked in the wall – $40. Another year at ‘Nova – priceless.