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These 24 predictions are sure to come true in 2024. Biologically proven.

Move over, Nostradamus; it’s time for me to step in and tell everyone the truth about the future. I may not be an astrologer, but I was a biology major for one semester. This makes me absolutely qualified to tell you the 24 things that I am positive will occur in the year 2024. I can assure you that all of these events will happen this calendar year.

1. Someone will trip and turn around to see if anyone saw them.
2. Oppenheimer will win Best Picture at the Oscars.
3. They will revive Walt Disney’s frozen body.
4. A volcano will erupt underwater, and nobody will know.
5. Shohei Ohtani will be in a hitting slump for the first half of the season, causing the Dodgers to question everything. 
6. Scientists will discover life on another planet, but the life is actually just birds that flew into space.
7. A girl’s mom will ask, “Are you really going to wear that out?”
8. Taylor Swift will release both Reputation (Taylor’s Version) and Taylor Swift (Taylor’s Version).
9. Elon Musk will buy popular apps and rename them letters of the alphabet until he collects all 26 letters, like Infinity Stones.
10. Students will continue to apply to, get into, go to and graduate from Villanova.
11. Side parts will come back in style.
12. The United States will combine Virginia and West Virginia into one Mega-Virginia.
13. A student will walk out of an exam saying, “I definitely failed,” before finding out that they actually got a B+.
14. Villanova will remove all its printers, and professors will no longer be able to make their students print.
15. Suki Waterhouse and Robert Pattinson will name their baby Renesmee.
16. Someone will get to a restaurant before the rush and say, “We got here right in time.”
17. Usher will bring Lil Jon and Ludacris out at the Super Bowl Halftime Show to sing “Yeah.”
18. Someone will come up with the cure for a disease in a dream and win a Nobel Prize.
19. The Super Bowl MVP will say, “I’m going to Disney World.”
20. Grey’s Anatomy will get renewed for its 21st season.
21. All police horses in New York City will revolt and take over.
22. Someone will say a joke and then their friend will say it louder. All their friends will only laugh at the second person, leaving the first joke teller to feel dejected and isolated.
23. The United States will win gold in Gymnastics, Swimming and Track and Field at the Summer Olympics.
24. Villanova will let students use ChatGPT to come up with jokes to make their professors laugh. If the professor laughs, the student gets an A+ for the semester.

There you have it. All 24 of those events will occur with absolute certainty. I know this for a fact. Have a great 2024 and do not be freaked out when it turns out that I was right.