Upon first coming to college, I heard from recent graduates and adults alike about how lucky I was to participate in the “college experience.” I had heard this phrase thrown around quite often, and when I found myself in a dark, sweaty fraternity basement for the first time, I realized that it was not something I wanted to “experience.”
Having to admit to myself that I was not a fan of the college-party scene was a difficult admission. How could I not like what everyone deems as the peak of one’s life, the ultimate rite of passage?
I contemplated forcing myself to continue going out, to psychologically program myself to enjoy the shoulder-to-shoulder, loud and overwhelming functions that my friends spend the greater part of the week anticipating.
However, upon further reflection, I do not believe this is the solution. Rather, the solution is achieving an acceptance of your unique needs and desires. This is the true “experience” a college student should undergo.
As a university student, you only have so much free time between a packed class schedule, homework and club participation. With these occupying a bulk of the average university student’s day, why would you elect to spend your free time in a way that does not align with your true preferences? Social media has convinced us that if we aren’t partying every weekend and posting with large groups of people that we are somehow doing college “wrong.”
What these posts fail to depict is the lack of true, meaningful connections that are formed on these fleeting nights out, hangovers that make waking up for your morning class a living nightmare and the disruption to one’s circadian rhythm that participating in the “nightlife” scene promotes.
Choosing your health and peace over what is deemed “cool” is actually much cooler and promotes individuality, something that is lacking greatly in the age of secular trends and the digital sphere.
Upon realizing that I was not a “going-out-gal,” I shifted my focus to the activities that made me happy, such as getting breakfast with friends, engaging in meaningful and sober conversations, going for runs, photographing nature, reading books and writing articles on topics I am passionate about. Once I accepted what made me happy, I also accepted what did not make me happy. And I am better for it.
Additionally, realizing that many students internally feel this way is helpful to accepting these sentiments. Even those who truly enjoy going out consistently also appreciate the benefits of a wholesome night-in, such as freshman Angela Choi.
“I love going out on the weekend, but occasionally enjoy staying in and watching a movie,” Choi said. “Having this time allows me to regroup and reset my priorities for the week and be in greater alignment with myself.”
For some, their ideal Friday night, when stripped of the fear of being perceived, may consist of reading a book, going to the gym or cooking a creative meal. For others, it may genuinely be going out and living the “college experience.” If you are forcing yourself into situations that do not bring you peace and fulfillment, pause, and ask yourself: why?
If you’re miserable and partying into the late hours of the night for social validation, have you ever contemplated how unintentionally egocentric this is? The truth of the matter is that everyone in college is trying to figure themselves out. They’re too preoccupied with how others perceive them, their perfectly-curated social media presence and their general existence to notice you and what you are doing.
Regardless of what your ideal is, make sure it is yours and no one else’s. At the end of the day, the only person who is preoccupied with you is you.
