Satire: The Joys of Spring


Graydon Paul/Villanovan Photography

Spring at Villanova marks the beginning of longer, more relaxing days -for some.

Loghan Hirkey, Staff Writer

Spring is finally here at Villanova,and with it comes all the joys of warmer weather and longer days.

The warmer weather brings frat boys’ flip-flops out from their hiding places, and one cannot forget about the beautiful flowers. Sure, students may be congested and get dirty looks in their classes for hacking up a lung, but it is most definitely worth the pain.

Spring weather brings all the creatures out of hiding: mosquitoes, bees and even psychotic squirrels. Everyone knows exactly what I am talking about.

But, do not just think about the transformations outside. What about the excitement of March Madness? Having one’s bracket not pan out after the first round can be embarrassing, but it is still fun to cheer on Villanova (Sorry, guys, the women run the court this year). 

It is always a great time to pack the Finn to spread the thousands of sicknesses going around right now and to see an unbearable freshman-year roommate. 

However, we also cannot forget about what we are all here for: our classes. Did someone bomb that midterm paper? Do not worry, there is only one more assignment and about five more weeks to get that grade up. 

Yeah, that sunshine looks inviting, and all those business kids playing frisbee on the quad looks fun, but what could be more interesting than a three-hour lab on the chemistry of water?

Just keep grinding. It may not be enough to get an A, but do not worry, it is spring.

With all that spring sunshine, it just makes sense that every building on campus, including the dorms, is over 90 degrees. While students are lying awake at 3:00 a.m. and sweating profusely, they should just remember that this is preparation for summer. 

Do not even bother messing with the thermostat, as it will conveniently switch to air conditioning for the last week of school. 

My favorite part of the spring season, however, is registration time. Feeling exhausted? Register for classes and one is sure to feel a boost of anxiety-fueled energy. 

Every class one wants to take may be filled up, but who cares? I am sure that a 1-out-of-5-rated professor will be fine. Do not even worry about the MSE classes. 

Students will hate no matter which classes they take. Just remember: an advisor may have had suggestions, but they are not the master schedule builder. 

How about those spring ‘fits? Is it even right if one does not have those Lululemon Align tops and flare pants? 

It may be in the 30s in the morning, but since jeans were worn all winter, it is time to pull out the shorts. And, of course, I already mentioned the flip-flops, which are perfect for spring. 

Pennsylvania weather can be unpredictable, but so is that guy who keeps promising to hang out. Improvise, adapt and overcome. 

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, we are one step closer to summer. Students may have been rejected from every internship so far, but at least they can wallow about it in the comfort of their own homes. 

After all, what is better than seeing Grandma at the 4th of July barbeque asking when her grandchild is going to get a boyfriend? Or how about seeing that weirdo from high school at the grocery store? 

Best of all is seeing an ex-best friend at a restaurant. Just smile and wave, though I am sure they will not return the pleasantries. Two more months and all of this can be a reality. 

So, Villanova, the question is: how can one not be excited about all of the joys of spring?