Basketball offseason questions

Daniel Madden

Have you ever thought way too much about that girl you’ve been telling everyone about, having every reason to believe it would work out?

You brag to your roommate, “Hey man, I’m totally getting a kiss tonight.” 

And he shakes his head, telling you, “Dude, she doesn’t like you. And you’re not even going on a date tonight!” 

Well, at least you think you have a date, as opposed to the many times you didn’t have one and didn’t think you had one. One step in the right direction. 

Unfortunately, you didn’t think you’d end up spending $100 on a fancy wine at a fancy restaurant only you showed up to, eating enough bread to make the peasants of 1315 unhappy and going from confident, to worried, to pissed off, yelling at the waiter because he didn’t see that you finished your seventh cup of wine and are breaking down crying because no one cares about you. And the girl didn’t even call to tell you she wasn’t going to make it!

Luckily that never happened to me, but that is exactly how I feel right now. The college basketball season has ended, and I have no idea how that happened. I convinced myself that the championship game somehow determined the seeding for the 96 team bracket that would start in a week and that Villanova’s early exit was a little practical joke with the real game time yet to be determined. Then Chad Ford and Mel Kiper Jr. put everything in perspective. And the feeling of betrayal and crying began. 

I definitely shouted something at someone. How could this happen? I didn’t even get the chance to meet Blue II! Thankfully, it’s only a matter of time before it starts up again, and I have a few questions that will hopefully occupy our minds through the summer and into November.

Should Brittney Griner go pro?

Unfortunately, the Baylor freshman tower can’t because of some rule saying women have to be 22, a graduate or have played professionally in Bosnia. Or something like that. The men can go after one year. Sexist? I’m not getting into that. Will she speak out? Doubtful. But it would be a shame if her career ended with a court case overshadowing it. 

This does, however, peek ahead at the upcoming NBA draft in June. Will Butler’s Gordon Hayward go pro? Will West Virginia’s Da’Sean Butler even get drafted?  Will America’s Jennifer Aniston ever get remarried? All valid questions. 

And just as important as Jennifer Aniston’s love life is the first pick in the draft. But whether it’s John Wall of Kentucky or Evan Turner of Ohio State, I’m just really hoping that a college graduate gets drafted in the top 10. Now that would be historic.

What scandal will John Calipari have to face, and how long will it take to arrive?

I’m hoping that whatever it is, it involves DeMarcus Cousins, Barry Bonds and the Canadian-American border. Unfortunately, the scandal will probably not surface until the next high-profile coaching vacancy arises. Only then, after Calipari has taken the job and secured his next multi-million dollar position, will we find out just how much money UK gave Wall and how few classes he actually attended. I give it two years. 

Calipari, however, looked upset when he found out that Duke and Head Coach Mike Krzyzewski actually graduate their players. Those early evening dinners with Head Coach Bob Huggins of West Virginia are not paying off as nicely as he hoped. Huggins had suggested that Calipari try to match the 0.0 graduation rate that Huggins impressively compiled in a four year span at Cincinnati. Neither has won a national title.

Will Villanova make the Sweet Sixteen next season?

I hope so, but it is not guaranteed. The returning players give a promising feel, but can they guard St. Mary’s Omar Samhan? 

Not to worry. Luckily, Samhan will have graduated, and Villanova rolls into the final Sixteen. But what if Villanova draws BYU and Jimmer Freddette in the second round? Oh man, I’m getting chills. 

I suppose another big question is if UNC will make the tournament next year — a guarantee if the field expands to 96, and probably even if the field sticks at 65. Enough freshmen return for a second year that Head Coach Roy Williams safely wins comeback coach of the year. UNC didn’t have a good season last year, but the team did make a nice run in the NIT, only to lose to an impressive Dayton team in the final. 

Villanova, on the other hand, started strong and struggled late. Will Villanova pick up where they left off or can they climb the rankings ladder and stay there?

Give these questions some thought, and I hope that they get you through the next few months. You can also watch some baseball to rest and relax. A little NBA playoff action won’t hurt either. 

But do not watch anymore Tiger Woods press conferences, because that will only get you thinking about that girl that stood you up after you wasted five months trying to get her to talk to you. You even set up a surefire plan involving a fake accident, four of your friends and a bouquet of roses. She just wasn’t looking. 

But college basketball will always be there for you, right around the corner.

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Daniel Madden is a junior classics major from Cincinnati, Ohio.  He can be reached at [email protected]