Satire: Course Registration


Registration woes never fail to plague students each spring semester.

Isabella Ledet, Staff Writer

If one has been paying close attention this semester, they would notice that I am writing about all of the same topics that I wrote about last semester. It is something like that episode of “How I Met Your Mother,” in which the main character, Ted, goes on a repeat blind date with a woman. He and his date decide that they have made it around the entire circle of people once and are now back to each other. This is my experience with article topics. I have written about all of my opinions, and I am now back to the beginning of the loop. It has come time to go on a date with course registration once more.

Now, if one has been paying attention, they would notice that it is time to register for courses. We are tantalizingly close to the end of the semester, close enough that Villanova has allowed us to begin dreaming of a time where the classes we are in now will simply not exist to us anymore, and we will move up on the ladder of studies to the next rung. But, beware of dreaming too big, because hopes may be dashed in an instant when the best courses fill up in the blink of an eye.

Villanova is a university, which means that most of the students in attendance are primarily here to be students. Being a student involves taking classes. However, the University makes it so incredibly difficult to register for classes that it honestly makes me wonder if it is aware of this fact. There are not one, not two, but three systems that one has to go through before actually being able to choose and register for classes. And, this year, to make matters more complicated, those systems changed. Instead of going to the registration page and inputting the CRNs (Crazy Random Numbers), one must now go to registration, go to add/drop classes, enter a pin, toggle over to add CRNs and then click submit.

As someone who is planning on devoting her career to the study of efficiency and ease of process, this system gets a gold star.

It is a miracle that anyone has been able to register for any class at all, ever. This is a testament to how truly brilliant the student body is. Forget about standardized testing. If someone can figure out Villanova’s course registration, they will succeed in their future endeavors. I guarantee it.

Now, should one actually be able to figure out how to register, there is no guarantee that the courses one desires will actually be available for taking. I ask myself, honestly, who is taking “Sports and Spirituality?” Who are these mysterious bots with ungodly registration times that can secure a spot in that highly coveted upper level theology class? They are out there somewhere in this world, unbeknownst to the rest of us who are never able to get in.

Then comes time for the great race of the registration time itself, which entails rapidly choosing an alternative schedule that has the least of all evils. Because we must face the facts: it is essentially impossible to get a schedule without either an 8:30 or a night class. So, which is the lesser of the evils? Get ready to have a matter of seconds to decide, lest the next desirable schedule fills up too.

When all is said and done, the plans have been destroyed, and everything feels like chaos. But, remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel: time. Time is the one thing on our side. The gap between the end of the spring semester and the beginning of the fall one allows for so much switching around that one is bound to be able to right the wrongs of the horrible registration time. Do not be afraid to log on to Nova Schedule Builder at 1 a.m. on a Wednesday in the middle of July. Last year, I found an open seat in a highly coveted class that I was able to switch into by doing just that.

Just remember, if any Villanova student out there ever feels inadequate, they have, at the very least, braved course registration and have come out successful on the other end. This is truly a remarkable and great accomplishment.