‘Twas the night before finals, And from Stanford to St. Mary, “Everything is quiet,” Breathed a relieved Public Safety.

The Dean’s Listers were nestled all snug in their beds, While impeccable blue books danced in their heads; My roommates in J.Crew and I in my GAP, Had just awakened from a semester-long nap,

When out on the Quad there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bunk and climbed down its’ ladder.Away to my window I flew in a rush, Stumbling over scattered laundry-pajamas and such.

But the lights blinking bright on Falvey’s four floors Were a foreboding omen to my studies in store, When, what to my sleep-deprived eyes should arise, But a miniature desk, and four study guides.The Registrar’s schedule so meticulously planned, I knew in a moment it must be Exams. More rapid than Milos my courses they came, I murmered, and mumbled, and cursed them by name:

Now, English! Now, Finance! Now, Bio and Core! On, Vodka! On Whiskey! Just pour, baby, pour!Wait-maybe some Brandy or Natty or Gin? These notes are so spotty, my head starts to spin! Just gaining some focus, as I opened a text, The fire alarm sounded, what next, man, what next? As I drew in my breath and tried to stay calm, To my group meeting in Bartley I went with a bound.Dressed all in sweats, from my head to my feet, My clothes were all tarnished with ketchup and grease; With the bundle of books I had flung on my back, I looked like a skydiver opening my pack.My hands-how they flew! Through take-homes and presentations! This may have been a gift of divine inspiration! The next morning while eating some brunch at the Pit, I visualized A’s as I chomped at the bit.

The stump of a pencil I held tight in my teeth, With sweat beads encircling my head like a wreath.My professor’s broad face and little round belly, Shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly

Chubby and plump, the rumpled old scholar, Gave the lengthy exam as his class suppressed hollers. But, a wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work, And wrote all the essays; then turned with a jerk, And laying my blue book just under his nose, Felt my confidence soar, sure my GPA rose.

I ran back to my room, gave my chums quick good-byes, Quickly packed up my suitcase, got ready to fly.

Back to Chicago, with family at home, “Merry Christmas to All! A semester WELL DONE!”