♏ Scorpio (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22)
Some people are upset about Starbucks’ red holiday coffee cups. What really grinds your gears?
♐ Sagittarius (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21)
In the last 10 years, more Chevrolets have been produced than there are grains of sand in Montauk, New York. Is that true? Probably not, but outrageous claims lead to ingenuity.
♑ Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20)
If you’re down about the darkness from daylight saving time, just turn on the light. Why didn’t you think of that? #ForYourLights
♒ Aquarius (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19)
Fire is the stuff of warriors, and that’s what we are, right? Warriors?
♓ Pisces (Feb. 20 – March 20)
This week will be a memorable one for you. Unless, of course, your memory isn’t great.
♈ Aries (March 21 – April 20)
What are the appropriate timeframes for breakfast, lunch and dinner? If breakfast is eaten after noon, you best not eat a substantial meal until dinner.
♉ Taurus (April 21 – May 21)
Bears are never bare. And you shouldn’t be either, at least not in public.
♊ Gemini (May 22 – June 22)
Theories make the world go ’round. Or maybe it’s money that does that.
♋ Cancer (June 23 – July 23)
Keep your head on a swivel. Keeping abreast of one’s surroundings fosters preparedness.
♌ Leo (July 24 – Aug. 23)
Alumni Hall used to be a war hospital. We need more ghost stories related that place.
♍ Virgo (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23)
If you budget your time, school is manageable. It’s only when you test your efficiency that deadlines become a factor.
♎ Libra (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23)
Keep your raincoat handy this month. Especially on Tuesdays, because we all know at Villanova it rains every Tuesday.