♒ Aquarius (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19)

You tried to tailgate this weekend, and failed, and now you have the sniffles. Carry tissues with you in your pocket all week.

♓ Pisces (Feb. 20 – March 20)

The only person who can give you true advice is DJ Khaled.

♈ Aries (March 21 – April 20)

You’re about to Snapchat Story your lunch.  DON’T.

♉ Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

Taurus people always finish what they start. Tell Netflix that you are still watching that show. Binge away.  

♊ Gemini (May 22 – June 22)

Syllabus week is over, take a break from Kelly’s this week.

♋ Cancer (June 23 – July 23)

You tried to shovel out your car and blocked in two other cars in the process. Karma is working against you this week.

♌ Leo (July 24 – Aug. 23)

Add/Drop has been over for a week now.  Go. To. Class.

♍ Virgo (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23)

It’s time to treat yo’ self. Make it a goal to shower more than three times this week.   

♎ Libra (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23)

You had a ruff weekend, take a trip to Playful Pets.

♏ Scorpio (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22)

Call your Mom.

♐ Sagittarius (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21)

Finances are scarce this week after indulging in Campco all weekend. Pay special attention to your Wells Fargo account.

♑ Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20)

The cold did bother you anyway. Wear a scarf.