Pisces (Feb. 20 – March 20)

Say yes to Senior year. Just. Say. Yes. 

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

You will find yourself in a four-way tie for fiftieth place in an upcoming national event. 

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

That thing you did in the 7th grade, ya, that thing, will come back to haunt you this week.

Gemini (May 22 – June 22)

Its never too early to start planning for Spring Break. Book those tickets to somewhere warm and sunny NOW.

Cancer (June 23 – July 23)

Bees are responsible for a third of the world’s food source. You might feel pressure from your responsibilities this week, but look on the bright side, you’re not a bee.

Leo (July 24 – Aug. 23)

On the one hand, 100 million sharks are killed every year from illegal finning practices. On the other hand, hundreds of thousands rely on these practices to make their livelihood. There are two sides to every story.

Virgo (Aug. 24 – Sept. 23)

Hillary Clinton isn’t sick from pneumonia, she’s just allergic to the haters. Don’t let others tell you how to live.

Libra (Sept. 24 – Oct 23)

Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out.

Scorpio (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22)

Chipotle had an e. Coli scare last year and is still making mediocre burrito. No matter what adversities you face, you can always find a way out.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21)

You can never go too far when you can’t come back home again.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20)

Call your mom.

Aquarius (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19)

Someone from your past might resurface this week in the form of an Instagram follow. Make sure your online presence is on fleek.