Aries 

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you want it to be.

Taurus

Never forget that you get seven important vitamins and minerals from eating S’mores Poptarts.

Gemini

Make your job decisions based on which company brings the best snacks to campus.

Cancer

If Cleveland sports teams can come out on top this year, then you can make it through your 8:30. Just believe.

Leo

Hug an unemployed senior. They need the validation.

Virgo

Euphoria is only a cup of coffee away.

Libra

It takes a special kind of person to rock an all denim outfit. You are that special someone.

Scorpio

“Socks” is just another word for “napkins you can wear on your feet.”

Sagittarius

May the curve be in your favor.

Capricorn

Bumble sucks. Don’t even bother.

Aquarius

Chance the Rapper was too expensive to get for “Hoops.” Instead, we got “Sure Thing the One-Man-Band.” Should be rad.

Pisces

Pick a random word that was cool when your parents were in college and bring that phrase back to relevance.