The Villanovan Astrologer
October 25, 2016
Aries
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you want it to be.
Taurus
Never forget that you get seven important vitamins and minerals from eating S’mores Poptarts.
Gemini
Make your job decisions based on which company brings the best snacks to campus.
Cancer
If Cleveland sports teams can come out on top this year, then you can make it through your 8:30. Just believe.
Leo
Hug an unemployed senior. They need the validation.
Virgo
Euphoria is only a cup of coffee away.
Libra
It takes a special kind of person to rock an all denim outfit. You are that special someone.
Scorpio
“Socks” is just another word for “napkins you can wear on your feet.”
Sagittarius
May the curve be in your favor.
Capricorn
Bumble sucks. Don’t even bother.
Aquarius
Chance the Rapper was too expensive to get for “Hoops.” Instead, we got “Sure Thing the One-Man-Band.” Should be rad.
Pisces
Pick a random word that was cool when your parents were in college and bring that phrase back to relevance.