‘Cool girl’ is a lifestyle and phrase that has always been around, but has spiked in popularity over the past decade. In 2014, the movie adaptation of Gone Girl coined this term in reference to character Amy Dunne, and in the years since, the longing to appear and act as a ‘cool girl’ has been transformed into the standard for girls around the world.
The idea behind the ‘cool girl’ is to be attractive without trying too hard, to be fun but not overly dramatic. To be perfect, effortlessly.
Appearing perfect is quite the opposite, and girls will spend hours trying to accomplish the no-makeup makeup look, find the perfect blend of messy and clean hairstyles and revamp their wardrobes to appease the eyes of others, most often, the male gaze.
So, what is the issue with the ‘cool girl’ epidemic you may ask? It is often performative and presented for the wrong reasons. It encourages women to suppress and alter their true selves to gain approval from others, making strong opinions and emotions seem unattractive.
So I say it is time to switch the narrative. I believe it is time for the girls to recoin the phrase ‘cool girl,’ and alter it to appease us, not other girls and not men; we shouldn’t have to seek approval from anyone other than ourselves.
Here is how we can do this.
One: Doing things for you.
While this may seem like an obvious start, it is oftentimes overlooked when worrying about how others perceive us. I call on us all to feel our emotions, and make decisions based on them. If you like a sweater, wear it. Even if you don’t think the kid who sits across from you in class will like it. He is not the one wearing it, so he should not be who you are dressing to impress.
Two: Caring about politics.
The past year has been filled with politics and policy making news. And it is cool to know what you are talking about and witnessing happen. Politics will never go away, and it will always be in style to be informed, to vote and to care about the future of democracy.
Three: Posting what brings you joy.
If you are on Instagram or TikTok and your first thought when crafting a post is what others will think, you are doing it wrong. When making the switch to post for yourself, you open the door for happiness to radiate from your feed. Posting pictures and videos that make you happy will reflect to those who see them, and they will feel the authenticity radiating through the phone.
Four: Caring about school.
You may be thinking: school is lame and boring. But is it? We go to Villanova, which clearly showcases that every one of us is smart and capable, so why let it go to waste? Pick up your pen, turn on some background music and get to work. With just a month left in the school year, now is the time to lock in and finish strong. What is cooler than having a good GPA, which will help you land a job post-grad or get into the graduate program of your dreams? It is time to stop pretending like your aspirations are not cool, because they help make you who you are.
Five: Surrounding yourself with people who love you, for you.
When considering who you spend time with, look deeper than who will boost your status or who others perceive to be cool. Surround yourself with people who feel like a warm hug. Who you can spend hours with and it will only feel like minutes. Who understand and love you for you. Friendships can be hard, and we are at an age where feelings are complex and oftentimes people have the wrong intentions when trying to form bonds with others. Finding the right people might take time, but it is worth every second.
So let’s go girls, let’s rebrand and rebuild the societal structures surrounding what it means to be a cool girl. Because, at the end of the day, we are all cool girls, and we do not need others determining that for us.
