According to one Google AI search, the term “manifest destiny” was originally coined by a journalist named John L. O’Sullivan. I don’t know if that fact is real, but I am going to run with it for the sake of this article.
What I do know is the definition of “manifest destiny.” I know that it means that God gave us the right to own as much land as we want. I think. I’m pretty sure that’s what that means. At least, that’s what I got from that one Panic! At the Disco song.
If God wants us to own as much land as possible, it would make sense that a Catholic school would want to own as many campuses as possible. It’s just God’s will.
The expansion of the United States is in the past, even if our president does want to acquire Canada. Let’s move on from trying to make more states, and focus on the real important expansion venture: Pennsylvania colleges.
Say goodbye to President James K. Polk, and hello to University President Rev. Peter M. Donohue, O.S.A., Ph.D.
As you might have heard, Villanova recently announced its merger with Rosemont College. Last year, Villanova acquired Cabrini College.
Acquiring one school is child’s play. Any university can acquire a small liberal arts college. Easy peasy. Light work.
Acquiring one school and merging with another? That’s a real business move. This is a business school after all, so it makes sense that we would make money moves.
But why stop there? Villanova, Cabrini and Rosemont are just the beginning. One University is nothing. Three is something, but is it enough? What’s enough? How many campuses does one university need to buy in order to win?
There are a lot of liberal arts schools around here. Cabrini and Rosemont are not the only ones. You’ve got Swarthmore, Haverford, Bryn Mawr. The list goes on and on.
Some people might be happy with Villanova merging with these Main Line liberal arts schools, and they would be right. I would love for Villanova to own every college on the Main Line, but why stop there?
Why not get the rest of the Big Five? I’m sure that some people would have a problem with us “merging” with St. Joe’s, but what if we acquired it like modern day conquistadors? We would literally and figuratively own them.
People love to claim that Villanova is not a Philly school, but they can’t say that when we open Villanova’s Temple University satellite campus. Would I ever go to that campus? Of course not. I chose this very safe school for a reason. But I would appreciate some more street cred.
Who cares about the University of Pennsylvania when Villanova is going to become the Pennsylvania university.
That’s right. I don’t want people to have a choice. I want Villanova to be the only college in the whole state, and I think the powers that be agree with me.
Indiana University of Pennsylvania? More like Indiana University of Villanova. IUV, if you will.
Move over Penn State, Villanova is taking over the state.
Actually, let’s talk about Penn State for a second. Do you know how many Penn State satellite campuses there are? No? Well, I’ll tell you.
Nineteen. There are 19 Penn State satellite campuses. They are literally killing the Pennsylvania college game.
But, if Villanova were to acquire all of the Penn States, in addition to the three campuses they already have, they would be in the lead.
To the person who is actually in charge of these mergers and acquisitions, please contact me. I have some serious strategies.
I might not be a business student, but I know business moves when I see them. I’ve seen Succession. I know how this works.
The most important part of this to me isn’t winning, though. It’s about status. We all go here because of the status. Nobody actually wanted to come here. We just wanted to say we did.
When Villanova announced that it bought Cabrini, it was a personal win for me because Kylie Kelce went to Cabrini. In a roundabout way, I can say that I went to the same school as Kylie Kelce.
But why stop at just one of my favorite celebrities?
If Villanova buys Penn State, we can say we went to the same school as Saquon Barkley.
If Villanova merges with the University of Pittsburgh, we can say we went to the same school as Gene Kelly.
If we acquire the University of Pennsylvania, we can say we went to the same school as a lot of people, most notably Elizabeth Banks.
I love my college, and I love my state. Is it so bad that I want my college to take over my state? I don’t think so.
