At the end of last semester, a friend of mine popped into her professor’s office hours right before she took her Amtrak train home for break. They did not have a particularly close relationship, only knowing each other for a few Monday/Wednesday 75-minute periods over three months. And yet, with a card in hand, she patiently knocked on his door.
“Your willingness to go the extra mile for your students does not go unnoticed,” it read in her handwritten note on the front. The back read, “I have learned so much from your class, and I wanted you to know that. You’re an amazing teacher.”
“He had such a big smile on his face,” she said.
I often forget, and underestimate, the positive impact compliments have on both ourselves and the receiver. A compliment is one of those easy, powerful and, of course, free actions that can change the course of someone’s day.
With that in mind, and the worry that we don’t give compliments enough, I asked Villanovans their favorite compliment they have ever received in hopes of a mental pick-me-up and perhaps even some inspiration.
“Your smile lights up a room”
This student loves it when people tell her this because she doesn’t see it herself. But, by hearing it from many people she believes it could be true. “Maybe I actually have that energy,” she said.
“I’m proud of you”
“It means the most coming from my parents,” a student said. “I feel validated and seen, like my hard work is paying off and motivation to continue.”
“You are a ray of sunshine”
“I was told this for the first time this summer and never forgot it,” a student said.
This student was working at a summer camp for individuals with special needs and was placed in a different group than years prior.
“I was nervous because I was walking into a group that had the same people in it for years and I was a complete outsider,” they said.
At the end of the summer, the counselors get called in for an evaluation. This student walked in expecting an awkward conversation with their boss.
“I didn’t think they liked me or that I was good enough,” they said.
And yet, their boss gave them a perfect evaluation and left the conversation saying that they were a “ray of sunshine.”
“It’s crazy now to think I was so worried. My brain tricked me for a whole summer that I was failing,” the student said.
Every stare this student received from their boss was not one of judgment, but appreciation.
“Without that conversation with my boss, I would have viewed my summer in an entirely different light,” the student said.
“My name was picked perfectly for me”
Working a shift at an ice cream store means lots of small interactions with customers. But one slow day, an older woman chatted with the girl behind the counter. The two talked, only for 10 minutes or so, but the woman ended the conversation by asking the worker her name.
“Grace,” she said.
“That’s perfectly fitting,” the older woman told her as she walked out the door.
The worker, a student at Villanova, felt honored to have all of the connotations of grace – beauty, poise, elegance – inside her. Further, the name has a special meaning to her,
“My grandmother’s name is Graciela,” she said. “Grace is the English translation of that.”
“I love your outfit”
“It’s silly and insignificant, I know,” a student said. “But I love it when people compliment my outfits. It makes my whole day brighter.”
This student puts a lot of effort into her outfits and enjoys it when that is recognized. Further, with many aspects of her appearance, she cannot control, her style is one of the few things always within her power.
“You feel like home”
“It was casual when my best friend told me this,” a student said. “But it is undoubtedly the kindest and most comforting sentence I’ve ever been told.”
Their best friend grew up in a broken home with not much family.
“To feel like home, for a person who has always been searching for one … I’ve always tried to be a good friend and this made me feel like I had accomplished that,” they said,
“You sound just like your father”
A man full of wit and humor, this student can only aspire to be half as funny as her dad.
“He has a special ability to make everyone around him feel comfortable and he usually does that by making them laugh,” this student said.
So, to ace a one-liner and be compared to the man with his cleverness, is the best compliment this student could receive.
