The following content is purely satirical. Don’t believe everything you read!

We all say, “Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat,” but does anyone even know what a Wildcat is? I don’t mean the actual animal, although if I’m being totally honest, I genuinely have no idea what a wildcat is. Like, is it a mountain lion-type-thing? 

I’m referring to a Villanova Wildcat. A Villanovan, if you will. What does it take to be a Villanovan? Is there a trademark “Villanova Student?” Is it problematic to put people in a box because of the school they go to?  

Do not worry. I am here to answer all of your burning questions (except any questions you might have about the wildcat animal itself). As my first year as a Villanova student comes to an end, I feel as though I can confidently say what it means to be a Villanova student.  

When one looks up, “What type of students go to Villanova?” the first thing that comes up is that the students typically come from “affluent, suburban families from NY, NJ and PA,” and that pretty much defines it perfectly, doesn’t it? 

While the culture of Villanova is more diverse than that, there is no hiding from the fact that there are certainly many rich, white kids who went to Catholic schools in the tri-state area. After all, the two most popular backpack brands here are Malvern Prep and Longchamp.  

I can speak for most students when I say that one of the most memorable parts of Orientation was when we had to watch a video that warned against bullying poor students. I am fully not kidding. There was a video that had to teach entitled 18-year-olds that there are people out there who grew up on nurture, as opposed to nepotism.   

Needless to say, watching that video was also a wake-up call for the non-daddy’s-money students on campus. You have an idea of what you’re getting yourself into, but it’s another thing to actually live in it. Your first week on campus at Villanova is essentially like walking around Gotham City and seeing Bruce Wayne just hanging out. You’re just trying to go to class, and the guy walking in front of you lives in a house that was showcased in Architectural Digest.  

But is every student at Villanova rich? No, I know plenty of poor people.  

Is every student who goes to Villanova white? Of course not. Will it take you a few minutes to find a person of color in a small crowd? Probably. It’s not exactly like finding a needle in a haystack or even a game of Where’s Waldo, but there will most likely always be a crazy white-person-to-non-white-person ratio. Don’t worry, though, our student-to-professor ratio is much better.  

Did you have to go to a Catholic school in New York, New Jersey or Pennsylvania to go to Villanova? Nope. I went to a public school in Pennsylvania. Plus, I know people who went to Catholic schools in Texas, Florida and even Sin City itself. So, no, the Villanova archetype is not just a rich, white person who went to a Catholic school in the tri-state area. We are much more diverse than that, clearly.  

Do you have to be a business major? No, but I should inform you that, like, one-third of my friends are business majors. You will run into them around here. They’re everywhere.  

Do you have to know a lot about basketball? Nope. I know next to nothing about basketball, and I’m an intramural basketball referee. You don’t actually have to know anything about basketball to go here. You just have to pretend that you do. I can assure you that most people on this campus are just pretending to know a lot of things.  

So, if being a Villanovan isn’t any of those things, what exactly is it? You might say that it’s someone with Augustinian values. Someone who is becoming what they are not yet. Someone who lives their life with veritas, unitas and caritas. Someone who always holds the door open, even if it’s actually incredibly inconvenient. Someone who has a weekly Tuesday tradition of eating General Tso’s chicken. Someone who wants to cry every time they have to walk to Garey Hall. Oh, is that one just me?  

Being a Villanovan consists of a lot of things. That might be because Villanovans have a tendency to be overly involved in just about every activity, sport and job they can find on or around campus. Villanovans are both intelligent and friendly. They’re kind and competitive. I might be biased, but I think that Villanovans are the best college students in the whole world. Maybe being a Villanovan means that you have a big ego. Whatever.