With Women’s History Month ending, I thought I would do what everyone else in the world does: rank women. I normally am not for pitting women against each other, but I am a fan of ranking things. So, here are my top-10 women.
There are no rules for this list. These are just my girlies, and I love them very much. Of course, we should celebrate all women this month, but I will especially be celebrating these lovely ladies.
- Olivia Rodrigo
Starting off very strong with the girlie who wrote the soundtrack of my freshman year. Where would I be without guts, and now guts (spilled)? Thank you, Olivia Rodrigo, for giving me songs to scream and cry to this year. I genuinely do not know if I would be mentally stable if I didn’t listen to “teenage dream” every day this school year.
- Kate Middleton
Girl. Your Majesty. I’m sorry to hear about the cancer, but I really hope you had as much fun as we did with all this drama. Seriously, she would not have made this list any other time. Since she’s been all I can think about for weeks, I had to give it to her. Plus, I do feel bad that we were kinda-super mean about the situation, and it ended up being cancer. Your Majesty, I wish you a speedy recovery and thank you for entertaining us in this trying time.
- Meredith Grey
Like I said, this list has no rules, and I am perfectly allowed to include fictional women. Besides, who else would take the eighth spot than the person who inspired me to be a doctor? Pick her, choose her, love her. I do love you, Meredith. You are the only reason I am still pre-med, girl.
- Kylie Kelce
Not only is she my seventh-favorite woman, but Kylie is also my number-one favorite Kelce. As a graduate of Cabrini University, she’s basically a Villanova alumna now, which means we went to college together. We’re basically best friends. “Long Live” the Queen of Philadelphia.
- Greta Gerwig
Greta may have been snubbed at the Oscars this year, but she made this list. Wouldn’t you much rather be on this list than win an Oscar? Yeah, no, me neither. Regardless, she’s still my favorite director, and I love her very much. Please cast me in your next movie, Greta. I could be your new Saoirse Ronan.
- Mindy Kaling
Super fun fact: Mindy Kaling was actually the person who inspired me to be a satirical writer, so everyone should thank her. If there was no Mindy Kaling, there would be no Sof Says. And where would the world be with no Sof Says? Thank you, Mindy Kaling, for inventing the fictional comedy magazine, The Catullan. I hope Sof Says is a good real-world imitation.
- Ayo Edebiri
There might not be a funnier person in the universe than Ayo. In honor of Women’s History Month, she’s my phone lockscreen right now. She is my true inspiration in life, and I am just trying to emulate her. My one wish in this world is to be a fraction as funny as her. I mean, I’m definitely very funny, but I’m not Ayo just yet.
- Taylor Swift
This should not come as a surprise to anyone. She was Time’s Person of the 2024, and she is my third-favorite woman on the planet. Everyone go watch the Eras Tour on Disney+. I’m actually watching it as I’m writing this. Taylor Swift is the queen of my heart, body and soul.
- Me
As far as people go, I’m pretty much the best one of all time. I’m definitely one of my own favorite women. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make the top spot, but I’ll take the silver.
Side note, everyone should love themselves, so this is actually me promoting self-love. Girls, let’s remember to love and appreciate ourselves this month. Cue “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” by Shania Twain.
- Your mom
Ha, got you. That was a “your mom” joke. Like, you know, your mom is my favorite woman.
But actually, moms are super cool. Fine, if you want to pretend this is me being sentimental about maternal figures in life, go for it, but that is not at all what I’m doing here. I’m just making a “your mom” joke.
So, yeah, those are my top-10 women, but if I could add another spot on the list it would go to “every woman ever except the evil ones.” Unfortunately, that’s just not how top-ten lists work though. Maybe next March, ladies.
