Satire: Villanova’s Prime Real Estate
February 15, 2023
Many colleges and universities throughout the United States have little downtown-like areas where students can go to get off-campus food or shop. Villanova has no such “college town” within walking distance to go to for off-campus ventures. If one wants to go off campus without the use of a car, one would mainly rely on the five store fronts on the southwest corner of campus, most notably Campus Corner Pizza, Nova Mediterranean Grill and Kazanjian Oriental Rug Gallery, all but one of which provide useful products to students. The final one provides oriental rugs.
Wait, what was that last one?
According to their website, the Kazanjian Oriental Rug Gallery is “a full service family owned dealer with over a Half a Century of service to the Main Line.”
Rug dealers?
Villanova has about as high a demand for oriental rugs as any other college campus. There must be numerous dorm rooms and apartments that give homes to antique rugs. There has to be for such a store to exist. However, I used to live on the southwest corner of campus, and I can definitively say that I never saw a single human enter or exit this rug store.
Since the rug store is such a mystery, we should take a moment to envision what its interior might look like. Imagine walking into that enigmatic store, into a dimly-lit room piled high with rugs of all kinds and sizes. One knows that they can go to Campus Corner if they are addicted to Zilly Fries and they can be given what they wish. But a rug addiction? Look no further than the rug dealers next door.
The owners of the rug store must have gone to the Villanova School of Business. How they have managed to keep this highly coveted location operating as a rug store is beyond me. If they have actually been operating for around 50 years, as their website suggests, they must be turning a profit. I truly wonder what kind of profits they are actually making and who their customers might be, since those customers are most likely not students here at Villanova.
Just like spotting Anthony Party Rentals trucks on campus, seeing the Kazanjian Oriental Rug Gallery lettering is a constant in the lives of Villanovans. As one is driving up Lancaster, the dark letters on the tan building remind the observer that they are almost home. We can always count on the rug store to exist, even if it never appears to be open. Perhaps one day Aladdin and Jasmine will fly out on a carpet and sing as they fly high over campus. But one thing is for certain: if that store has been open this long, it will never, ever close, and will forever be a landmark adjacent to Villanova’s campus.
Remember, if one actually does ever find themself needing an oriental rug fix, they can ramble on down the path past Campus Corner and Nova Grill to our ever-present local oriental rug dealer, Kazanjian.