My morning was a wreck. I woke up late, threw on an all-white outfit in a low-effort attempt to look chic, and having run out of time to make myself coffee, rushed to Holy Grounds to grab a quick latte. 

I was disturbed, to say the least, when I found that the new tops that Holy Grounds uses are totally useless. The new, sippy cup-inspired lid collects coffee around the brim of the cup, which dribbles down your shirt as you drink it. 

Angry that my monochrome outfit was destroyed, I went to my Instagram private story to air my caffeinated complaint. In a stained rage, I posted, “THESE LIDS NEED TO BE BANNED FROM SOCIETY. I HAVE COFFEE ALL OVER ME.” 

I was not expecting so many people to also be mad about these caps, but my DMs were flooded with comments like, “they are so dysfunctional” and “this cap made me spill coffee down myself this morning” and “these make me want to commit a war crime.” I felt very heard by my peers. 

So the question becomes: Why? 

At a place as high functioning as Villanova, why does the bill stop at the barista bar? Why are we using these dysfunctional and wardrobe-destroying caps? 

I am sure these new coffee cups are meant to reduce single-use plastic waste, but to be honest: what are we doing here? It honestly seems that the University has fallen victim to the whims of liberal (when I say liberal, I mean non-radical) environmentalism. To really reduce single-use plastics, maybe instead of using countless plastic cups and tops a day, give students reusable cups or offer coffee at a lower price to students who bring their own cup from home. It is silly to delude ourselves into thinking these horrible lids are doing anything for the environment. They are still single-use plastics. It will still take 500 years for these caps to decompose in a landfill. These lids are not a win for the environment or for my white shirts. They need to be eradicated from Villanova’s landscape not just because they are liberal propaganda, but also because they ruined my outfit.