Getting ready for the Apocalypse

Chris Duprau

Hold on to your hats, board up the windows, stock pile the booze and make the move on that girl you’ve always been afraid to talk to, because the end is near. Yes that’s right, the Red Sox are about to win the World Series. This is a site I thought I would never be witness to in my lifetime, and when it happens (if they don’t win up 3-0 I don’t want to imagine what B-Town will be like) everything in sports will change.

For years, heck decades the Boston Red Sox with all due respect to the Chicago Cubs, have been the most unlucky team in sports. Their stories of pain and suffering have been passed down from generation to generation like they were Aesop’s fables. They have been to numerous World Series’ since their last championship in a year I’m sure all of us are familiar with right now. Their last trip encompassed possibly the most painful moment in Red Sox history when the ball went through the legs of poor Bill Buckner, capping the Mets three run two out comeback in game six of the 1986 Series. Of course people often forget that the game was already tied when Buckner made the error, and that the Red Sox still blew game seven after being up 3-0.

I bring all this up, because I’m very curious as to how a Red Sox fan will act once they finally know what it feels like to be a winner. I mean obviously I realize there is going to be a celebration going on until at least Thanksgiving. The entire “big dig” construction thing going on in Boston will probably be delayed for another five years, and at least 50 guys named Sully will be arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct.

What happens when the rush of jubilation ends? When it’s January and for once a Sox fan isn’t just looking towards spring training as their next chance to win, but instead looking at it from atop the mountain as a champion. I compare it to a recovering alcoholic at a party. You aren’t quite sure how to act around them, and all you know is they aren’t the same person they used to be; all the craziness you expect out of them is gone, for better or worse.

A Red Sox fan I spoke to said it’ll be like how a girl feels after a breast reduction. You feel great, your back doesn’t hurt anymore, but you still can’t help thinking that something is missing. My mentor Bill Simmons thinks that Boston fans won’t change that much, because they never defined themselves by the curse or the losing, everyone else just does.

However Boston fans react I tip my hat and raise my beer to them. I have to say they earned this one. In my nearly 21 years of life I’ve remember witnessing 2.5 championships by my teams. One by the Giants in ’90, one from the Rangers in ’94 and yes my father woke me up in ’86 at the age of 3 and sat me down in front of the TV as Jesse Orasco recorded the final out and the Mets won the ’86 series. Basically I get one championship every seven years.

Now I know Boston has the Celtics, Bruins and Pats who have all won multiple championships since the Red Sox last one, but the Red Sox are Boston. In the same way the Eagles are Philadelphia, any team can win in Philly, but when the Eagles do, this place goes nuts. (In fact, the governor of the state is part of the Eagles post game show.) So congrats Pedro, Manny, Schill, Poppi and the rest of the crew, you guys deserve this, and so do your fans. I’d also like to say that if they manage to lose this 3-0 lead and Sox fans hold me personally responsible, I will be living with Bill Buckner somewhere in Wyoming.

Whew, ok glad I got all that out, now time for the football picks. Rough week last week for big Dupes, due in special part to the freaking Giants. They had by far their poorest showing of the year. I’d also to thank the Eagles who couldn’t cover the spread dropping me to 11.5 – 3.5 – 1. (For those who forgot the .5 goes back to a debatable prediction in week 2)

I’m going a little nutty this week so hold on tight. I’m picking the Texans of Jacksonville in Houston. After that big win in Indy by the Jaguars I feel that this could be a let down game for them, and Houston has been playing well. I love Zona over Buffalo in Buffalo with the Bills getting -3 on the spread. The Cardinals have been playing well, and I know one special Cards fan whose gonna love that I picked them this week.

For the pick of the week I would have taken Baltimore over the Birds with Baltimore getting 8, but Jamal Lewis decided to combine Ricky Williams “chronic” history and Ray Lewis’ arresting history into his own little weed/embezzlement/jail time thing. He’s suspended for this game so he won’t be able to run through the Birds meaning that Philly will remain undefeated.

Instead my pick of the week goes to the other undefeated team the Pats who are giving 3 to the Steelers and there surprising and impressive young QB Ben Rothlisburger (I’ve tried numerous times I can’t say that name). The Pats defense is made to confuse quarterbacks and it should cause all sorts of problems for young Ben. The streak continues for the Pats and life continues to be good all across New England

That’s all for this week, with elections coming up, if you don’t like either candidate, throw in a write in ballot for me. Yes that’s right I’m throwing my hat into the ring and am running for president. God Bless America.