Too many stories from the summer to cover them all in one article unless……with a little help from my man Billy Joel this is everything from the sports that matter over the last three months. Sung in the key of…..I have no idea, just sing it like “We didn’t start the fire”.

ChorusThis is just satiretoo many storiesit gets kinda boringthis is just satireI did write it but I’ll try to hide it

Verse 1NBA, BasketballSan Antonio won it allDuncan, Ginboli, Eva LongoriaDetroit lost the titlethan something more vitalLarry Brown, coach the Knickswelcome to a team of stiffsPacer’s Ron Artestlooks like he’s had restwe’ll have to wait and seefor his next killing spreeIverson gettin Punk’dChris Bird still can’t dunkMiami Heat, team to beat, Zydrunas Ilgauskis feet

(Chorus)

Verse 2

NHL back again,stuck on the OLN69, 56maybe it’s on the dishPlayers shuffled, union ruffledtoo many teams in troublescrew Carolina, bring back the Whalehere comes Buccigross,Melrose off suicide watchshootouts but no fightsCanada’s Hockey NightStars in different shirtsmakes my headacheRoenick, Forsberg, John Leclair in Pittsburgh nothing rhymes with GAGNE

Chorus

Verse 3Baseball and steroidshome runs and deltoidsMark Mcguire cryingRaffy was lyingSox in the pennant raceboth varieties in the chasebut the Yanks are comin backGiambi now smoking crackPut on the clear and creamDC had a winning teamnow back in the cellarmaybe next year’ll be betterLee shootin’ for the CrownBarry Bonds goin’ downTampa Bay, Devil Rays, what else do I have to say?

Chorus

Verse 4

Lastly, footballone sport to rule them allhigh ratings model datingoverpaid starsThomas Herrion passed awaycaught on a sunny daysometimes all the wealthis not worth losing healthMaurice Clarrett gettin cut’roid needles in the buttJohn Madden’s gutgettin’ bigger every yearTo the team from phillyeveryone actin sillyRonsenhaus, TO’s mouth, the trophy’s what its all about

Not very original, but at least I am qualified to be a wacky morning DJ now.