What really sticks in my craw

Kai Beasley

You know what really sticks in my craw? Well I’m going to tell you Villanova. It’s people. Not just any people. It’s a certain kind of person. What kind of person do you ask? It’s the kind of person who qualifies a question of emotional impact with the phrase “as a person.”

For example I might ask, “As a person, how does that make you feel?” or, “As a person, what was it like to realize that you stepped on so many people to make your way to the top?”

How the heck else am I supposed to answer that question? I mean, am I supposed to answer it as a basketball or some sort? Tell me, Villanova. Is that how I am supposed to answer it? Because if it is, then I am sadly mistaken and henceforth I will answer all questions as a basketball, or a dog, or anything other than a human being.

I mean, I don’t know, maybe I’m stupid. It’s just that I always thought that when one “person” was asking another “person” a question, it was assumed that you were both “people.” Therefore the term “as a person” was already implied (quotation marks are so great) … but hey, that’s just me talking fast. I’m a realist.

The same thing happens with those reporters who ask coaches questions at the post game press conferences. “As a team, where would you say you are right now,” or “Baseball wise, how are things?” or “As a question, how would you rephrase this? (ooooohhh, think about it).” I don’t know, I mean would a baseball coach really answer a question about his baseball team in basketball terms unless otherwise informed? I don’t think so.

So my advice to you Villanova, is to talk smart. Be terse. I mean OMG.

That brings me to another thing that sticks in my craw: what is the deal with using IM speak outside of IM: I mean, come on. OMG, WTF, LOL, that’s fine when you’re typing on the computer but do we really need to say “OMG” out loud? Has the English-speaking world really gotten so lazy that we have to abbreviate phrases that are only three syllables to begin with?

It’s not that hard. Villanova, I love you all, I believe in you, and I know in time, you will all do the right thing when it comes to sophisticated intelligent conversation. And that’s what really sticks in my craw.