In an early morning daze, he stumbles shoeless down the hallway with breath reeking from the previous night’s festivities. He manages to get the key into the door and walk into his humble abode.
Immediately, he is welcomed by the horrendous smell of stale food, mold and possibly a dead animal. He desperately searches for water, but all of the glassware is piled mile-high, covered in mold in the sink. At least there will be something to eat, he thinks.
However, all that is left in the fridge is a carton of expired milk and month-old leftovers.
He then shuffles a few feet, kicking garbage out of his path into the living room. It certainly is a “living” room; a menagerie of insects somehow survive the warm, moldy climate of said apartment.
The male shoves a random assortment of clothing off of the oh-so-comfortable couch the University provides. He lies down with the hopes that his headache will subside. His hand falls to the ground and feels something fuzzy – possibly a tennis ball. He gives a squeeze and realizes it definitely is not a tennis ball – It is a petrified tangerine left over from last month’s attempted diet.
He surveys the smorgasbord displayed on his coffee table, consisting of half-empty beers, crusty Easy Mac, Wawa wrappers and a film of soda which cements each product to the table itself. If you are the men of a certain apartment (who will remain nameless), this scene is all too familiar to you.
After five hours of my scouring, the apartment was spic and span. I vowed from that day forward to never let my own apartment reach such a vile state.
Spring cleaning may seem like a daunting task, especially to the male population. However, it is easier than you think: With proper motivation, cleaning will become second nature even to the messiest Villanovan.
To achieve a successful spring cleaning, there are a few basic steps. First, invest in cleaning products. It seems like a no-brainer, but we are all familiar with the ridiculous treasure hunt to locate a decent (and functioning) vacuum. Some items that are necessary include a Swiffer wet mop (it cleans anything from your walls to your bathroom floor), Febreeze (to rid your couch or shoes of the smell of sweat), generic dish soap, paper towels and good old-fashioned Windex.
Secondly, those sheets on your bed were meant to be washed, at least three times. Out of common courtesy for your guests and roommates, please wash them. Next, do the dishes! If you use it, wash it. It does not have to be washed as soon as you are done, maybe not even for a few hours, but to avoid washing dishes for a month is unacceptable.
The fourth step to a clean room is to take out the trash. It’s like changing diapers; no one likes to do it, but it must be done.
The last and most important step to a clean and organized room is upkeep. Once a room is clean, it is easier to keep it that way.
Occasionally throw the beer can in the trash instead of leaving it on your desk. Or for those couples out there, make it a date to the laundry room. Follow these steps, and it’s a guaranteed relatively hygienic bachelor/bachelorette pad.