My last article. I spent weeks planning it.

Something heartfelt and beautiful, offering hugs and kisses to the people who changed my life and shaped my college experience. I would give thanks for my favorite classes and professors, the ones who opened my eyes and altered my outlook on the world. I would express thanks to my biggest fans – Dan and Dan, along with the 13 members of my facebook group.

And I would finish by quoting “Sex and the City,” something about the ones we love being only a plane ride away.

If only I weren’t so cynical.

Instead, here are a few things about Villanova I hope change. Soon. For your sake, not mine. I’m out of here.

Tolentine Hall. A professor of mine once said, “I have trained for a marathon, but it still doesn’t compare to hiking to the fourth floor of Tolentine.”

While business students sweep past flat screen TV’s in their perfectly air-conditioned, state-of-the-art building, arts students trip on the unaccommodating black stairs in Tolentine, some of them close to passing out from heat stroke and dehydration.

If springing for a public elevator is just too much to ask for and renovating the most awful building on campus is out of the question, at least designate employees to stand at the top of the stairs to hand out water bottles to parched, sweating, exhausted students on their way to class as a nice refresher.

Curfews. When I was a senior in high school, my curfew was 12:30 a.m.

When I left for college, trusted enough by my parents to make good decisions and live away from home, my curfew became half an hour earlier.

No seriously.

Even though we are all adults here, students a mere few months/years older than us (RAs) tuck us into bed each night.

Then, they check for bed bugs, the boogie man and members of the opposite sex.

Apparently, having a fully-clothed male in a girls’ dorm room after midnight is the equivalent of catching the bird flu.

Newsflash: telling rebellious “teenagers” they can’t do something will only make them try harder to do it. And then some.

The Health and Wellness center. Villanova is a Catholic university, founded upon the beliefs of the Augustinians. I understand and greatly respect that this makes our college naturally more conservative than your average state school. Still, we can’t deny that this is college.

Some people drink. And some are sexually active too.

And while these behaviors might not be condoned by all parties, they should be tolerated by those who work in a department designed to address rather than deny such issues.

Rather than try to prevent them altogether, or accuse those who openly speak about such things of setting a poor example for an entire campus, why not work harder to create programs that help educate as well as accommodate students? Pointing the finger and avidly expressing disapproval at certain behaviors is by far the biggest problem of all.

The drunk bus. Legend has it, a late-night shuttle used to take campus residents to and from Main Line hot spots, creating an easy way to prevent drunk driving and other dangerous situations (such as girls walking home alone), because let’s face it: college students are usually too cheap to pay for cabs.

Needless to say, the service is no longer offered. Some say it’s because a “drunk bus” encouraged students to get drunk. Others claim it’s because the deans of Villanova made a deal with the devil, also known as the Radnor and Lower Merion police.

Last time I checked, we give you $16,000 a semester. How about a free ride home from the bars at night?

Dining halls. As much as everyone loves eating steak at the Spit, it’s time for some new options. No more pasta, no more omelets, no more weird stir fry concoctions.

Yes, Campus Corner is basically on campus, but students can only order the same chicken finger hoagie so many nights of the week.

If you are not going to put a Wendy’s, Subway or other fast food joint on campus like at other schools (ahem, Notre Dame), then bring back the drunk bus to drive us there late at night.

Absence policies for seniors. Or shall I say, strict absence policies for seniors. Do professors actually believe they can try to tell us that we can’t miss I’m Taking This Class as an Elective Just to Graduate 101 more than three times without failing?

For classes that are imperative and extremely necessary to our education, the five-absence limit is understandable. For courses that are pointless and do nothing for your overall education but teach you to wake up at 7:30 a.m., it’s practically unacceptable.

West campus parking lots. One that students can actually park in. Forget making more spots for juniors, how about some equal-opportunity pavement?

Believe it or not, students have class in St. Mary’s, yet are forced to park in Main Lot and trudge 20 minutes either through the frigid, icy winds or the sweltering, humid heat.

This, of course, is to prevent getting towed from the SEPTA lot, getting a ticket in the law school lot or getting denied by the power-tripping public safety officers at the West entrance.

Maybe if such a lot existed, students wouldn’t feel the need to violate absence policies, no longer too lazy to make the serious commitment to sprint-walk across campus.

And no, we will not leave five minutes earlier for class just to compensate.

A bigger basketball stadium. Did the record-setting, standing-room-only crowd not prove how much we love our team? The Pavilion holds about one-third of the amount of people who rushed the court in Philly. Of course, another option would be to fix the lottery so that more than the same 16 or so students would be able to attend the games.

However, since everyone claims they honestly have no clue how the system works, it might be easier to simply knock down the Pavilion and start anew, building a complex that would put the Wac to shame.

After all, isn’t that what our beloved coach of the year wants?

Other than that, I wouldn’t change a thing. Except for the lack of gum on campus, the four or so working treadmills in the Farley gym, and oh yeah, if it were up to me, Professor Dumbledore would speak at graduation.