WARNING! The stories that you are about to read are true. Each story happened over the course of the Labor Day weekend.

“Nude Is The New Pink!”

My senior resources tell me that last Saturday there was a Villanova party in Conshohocken. Said senior explains that on Saturday night he showed up late to the party. Once he walked up to the house, he heard noise coming from the garage. At this point, he was pumped, as any other partygoer would be. Then it began, the number one sport in college: beer pong. In the hype of all the pong playing, a female and male appeared to have taken the game to a new and extreme level. Little did our party-goer know that clothing was optional at this party.

Startled, the pong-playing male began placing house hold objects, such as ping pong paddles and a snow shovel, for cover. Eventually, the Conshohocken hostess coerced the natural duo to get dressed, or so it was thought…

At about 12:30 to 1:00 a.m. more noise came from outside the house. This time not only were there two but three people doing their best impressions of Frank the Tank. Apparenlty, the streakers then proceeded to take pictures with the neighbor’s dog. I don’t think I could ever look at Lassie the same way again!

“Busted!”

As I am sure all of you know, Marathon Grille was the place to be on Thursday night, or so you thought. Students piled into their transportation that evening and were ready for a good time. A certain “in the know” sophomore girl, whose friends were at Marathon Grille, told me she heard that once the party animals got off the bus, there were police waiting for them not only at the door, but also inside the party mingling.

According to Ms. In The Know, the party was like the time you went to Beat Street thinking you were going to get your groove on with the hot new senior, but as Cher from Clueless would say, “You were brutally rebuffed.” All it takes to ruin a night is for an extremely large bouncer to take away your beverage and your fun. In conclusion, Marathon Grille is obvi now on watch with the po-po so please stay clear, or you will be sent home to cry in your Campus Corner food.

“Take me back to freshman year when I had a code!”

Apparently, Ludacris and Nate Dogg have “friends” in different area codes. Well, a close observer who was visiting Sheehan Hall told me that as she was going to hang out with friends when someone caught her eye. Before her night could begin, someone else’s night was clearly ending. A female was being told by Public Safety to return to her room in St. Mary’s (clearly located in another area code according to freshmen and sophomores at Villanova). However, our “disturber of the peace” refused to go back to her abode because she could not locate her key. All was out of control, until our trusty officer identified the key that she was dangling in front of him as the “lost object.” Needless to say, the intoxicated individual wanted to thank the officer by giving him a hug. However, he didn’t take one for the team this time-he denied.

“Short Shorts”

· What happened to the Oreo this weekend? Someone fill me in! All I know is there was a bush in the Oreo hole?!?! I don’t like to reveal my sources-cough picture on Facebook cough-and of course those who saw it and reported! However, more facts would be greatly appreciated.

· Speaking of Facebook, has anyone seen the new version? I’m sure if you are anyone that’s anyone, you would know it is the new stalker tool, slash it is even creepier! I know when people are breaking up and getting together by a little heart that either has a crack through it or is whole! Ok, so maybe this is a positive for me…not you!