It’s getting down to crunch time for us here at Mascotology, and after last week’s 1-1 performance, the new philosophy of using guess work and stereotypes seems to be working nicely. Were it not for an unfortunate overtime loss for Rutgers, I may have finished above .500 for the first time since Week 1. Sadly, it was not meant to be, but if I let every failure stop this column, I would not have made it past the initial production meeting, where I declared, “Of course I can get four months of columns out of this concept.” Thankfully, sometimes all it takes is a dream (and some Nyquil) to achieve great things.
Recently, it has come to my attention that there is in fact a “guru” of Mascotology other than myself. I speak, of course, of California University of Pennsylvania professor Dr. Roy Yarbrough. Seeing as his lawyers have sent me a “cease and desist,” until this situation is resolved, I will no longer be able to use the term “Mascotology.”
So, now I present to you “Raynor Denitzio’s Mascot-Themed Sports Predictions.” This week’s Big East games present quite a few interesting matchups. First off, Notre Dame travels to Chicago to take on DePaul. Making the transition from South Bend, Ind., with its gas streetlights and outhouses, to the budding metropolis of Chicago will likely leave the Notre Dame team confused and scared. This will become particularly evident when they witness the “demonry” that is to be found at DePaul’s arena. What is this electronic scoreboard they speak of? Take DePaul.
Next, Villanova takes on Seton Hall. There are many reasons not to like Pirates, among them scurvy, poor hygiene and trying to ruin Kurt Russell’s day in “Captain Ron.” (I’ll let them off the hook for messing with Martin Short. I’ve passed many a weekend by stealing his car and pelting his house with eggs. I hate you, Martin Short. This is just the beginning.) I digress. Take Villanova.