VCU: America’s short-lived sensation

What do Right Said Fred, Sir Mix-A-Lot, Virginia Commonwealth and those guys who sang the “Macarena” have in common? They’ve all gone down in history as some of America’s most notable one-hit wonders. Most one-hit wonders do us a favor by fading away once the novelty is done, only to rear their ugly heads once again at weddings and bar mitzvahs. But every once in a while, a one-hit wonder captures our hearts and we’re just not ready to let go. (I’m still eagerly anticipating word on what happened to Thomas Dolby once he got blinded with science. I hope his optometry bills weren’t too high). VCU played far and away the best game of the first two days of this year’s disappointing NCAA tournament. It wasn’t just that they beat Duke; it was the way they did it. Getting physical with media darling Jon Scheyer, making Greg Paulus look like a 10-year-old rec league player trying to bring the ball up against the press and the image of Eric Maynor hitting that final shot in the game’s closing seconds will be things that fans won’t forget for a long time. With no real Cinderellas left in the field, and the way VCU tempted and teased its adoring fans by nearly knocking off Pitt, many college fans may spend this week sitting alone in their rooms listening to “Nothing Compares 2 U” over and over again. (+2 if you got the Sinead O’Connor reference; -5 if that last sentence actually described your week).

WRITINGS ON

THE WALL:

The Curse of

Shelley Smith

Memo to all NCAA basketball programs: if its early March, and ESPN’s Shelley Smith shows up at your practice facility, lock the doors and pretend no one’s home (just like when the Jehovah’s Witnesses come knocking). For the second year in a row, she followed around a college basketball team on their way through the tournament. The network boasted that Smith with would be that team every step of the way in an “all-access” segment. Last year, her tag-along buddies were the No. 2 Tennessee Volunteers, who, after narrowly escaping No. 15 Winthrop in the first round, lost in the second round. This year’s victim was Wisconsin, who also left the Big Dance before the good songs started playing. Whether its Smith’s fault or not is still inconclusive, but we’ve seen ESPN’s reporters bring out the worst in people before. Ask Joe Namath, if he’s not still too busy trying to round the bases on national television with Suzy Kolber.

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Levi Jones left the group Cincinnati Bengals who haven’t been on a police report.

Eric Maynor wrote on Greg Paulus’ wall

“hope your face is ok man. lemme know how i look on tv on saturday.”

The Boston Celtics gave a gift to the NBA

“Here’s the $30,000. Sorry about that. But seriously, how could Danny have known that was Kevin’s mom?”

Tommy Amaker went from being “in a relationship” to “single.”

Gary Matthews, Jr. is attending Giambi’s Juice Bar – Thursday Night.

Winthrop, Creighton, Old Dominion, Davidson, Holy Cross and Oral Roberts left the group Cinderellaz ’07!

Joey Porter added “playing cards” and “face punching” to his interests.

Sean Salisbury is taking the week off because apparently, it’s against the rules at ESPN to take pictures of your “manhood” and show it to your female coworkers.

CHANNEL SURFING

Pistons at Bulls (Tonight, 8:00 p.m., TNT): Two reasons for this one. First, it’s B-B-B-Ben Wallace against his former mates for the third time this year, with the season series at one game apiece. Secondly, even if you don’t like the NBA, you just know Charles Barkley is going to say something that’s (a) embarrassing, (b) regretful, (c) offensive or (d) all of the above.

Pittsburgh vs. UCLA (Tonight, 9:40, CBS): Unless Aaron Gray lays another egg (which is entirely possible, as he’s gone from a lottery pick to a second rounder faster than you can spell “bust”) this could be the best matchup of the Sweet Sixteen. Plus, thanks to Ben Howland, it’s got one of those “coach going against his former team, but it’s not terribly significant since none of the same players is still on the former team” storylines that announcers just eat up.

Butler vs. Florida (Friday, 7:10 p.m., CBS): Possibly the last chance we have at a really great feel-good story might lie with the Bulldogs of Butler in their attempt to unseat the reigning champs. Butler almost pulled off a 5-12 upset in 2000 against the Gators, falling by one point in OT. Then again, can any of us really pull for a team we had losing to Old Dominion in this year’s round of the 5-12 games?

$tock Watch

BULL MARKET

BOSTON CELTICS

The surging (not a misprint) Celts recently earned seven wins over their last 11 games, including a big-time win over San Antonio. Paul Pierce has come back nicely from his injury, and youngsters Al Jefferson and Rajon Rondo have been making some real nice contributions.

BEAR MARKET

BOSTON CELTICS

You idiots! You can’t even throw a season correctly! Keep it up with this whole “winning games” thing and you’re going to be “those guys” who end up with the third pick in the possibly legendary Oden-Durant draft. Fine, if you’re committed to winning games, you better just hope the Sixers end up picking before you, so Billy King can screw it up and still give you a shot.

You Tubin’

Clip of the Week

See the video at

youtube.com/villanovansports

March Madness means a lot of things to a lot of different people, but one thing just about all of us share is that it officially becomes a full-time job to root against Duke. Check out these fans’ tribute to a passion that is sweeping the nation: cheering against the team America loves to hate.