Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)The first few weeks of school are essential for establishing that new roommate bond. So, as much as you love watching the Soap Opera Network until 2 a.m., don’t. He just won’t understand.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)You’re sad that the great astrologistw you read last year has graduated and moved on. But don’t worry; you’ll still love reading the horoscopes. Seriously. The stars say so.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)Yeah, that’s right. You are McLovin, the 25-year-old Hawaiian organ donor. Chicka-chicka-yeah!
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)Remember the summer reading your professor told you about way back in May? Yeah, about that …
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)Be careful about what nickname you get. It may seem funny now, but by senior year, you will not appreciate being called Frank the Tank.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)Take extra safety precautions for your cookout this Labor Day. That grilled finger from last year still smarts.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)You will get a black eye when you try to fight your way to the front of the line to sign up for Special Olympics. But hey, you should check out the other guy.
Aries (March 21-April 19)Your roommate recently made a trip to a certain establishment on South Street, so don’t be surprised when you come back to the room to find phallic-shaped cookies and ice cubes.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)There’s a skeleton in your closet. Literally. I bet there wasn’t a box for that on the room condition form.
Gemini (May 21-June 21)You’re known for never being late, so impress your teachers with your promptitude. Also, impress them with your use of the word promptitude.
Cancer (Jun 22-July 22)You need to stop staring at blank walls and finally decorate your room. And no, that tower of empty cans does not count.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)You’ve been apprehensive about the move back to school. But don’t worry; by the end of the week you will see the flashing lights of VEMS and feel right at home. Ah, ‘Nova!